We are constrained by attachments, long-held beliefs, selfish motives & rigid views, says Ajit Kumar Bishnoi
Two persons were madly in love. They got married and were soon blessed with a daughter. As she was the only child, they loved her dearly. Time came for her schooling. Making great efforts, they succeeded in getting their daughter admitted to a prestigious school; they even moved to ensure that she had enough points for admission.
Both parents were highly educated, but the wife took charge of her education. Rather it became her passion, even though the girl was quite young. Her mother was determined to make her the very best. Surely, her efforts bore fruit; the girl began to excel in her class. In one test of dictation, the girl scored ten out of ten. The next day the mother was in the school, distributing sweets to her daughter’s classmates. The girl was too young to be embarrassed by this act of her mother.
life went on and the girl became a brilliant student. When the time came to choose her subjects, she wanted to pursue arts, whereas her parents insisted on commerce. She resisted but her parents were determined. Very reluctantly, she agreed but her heart was not in pursuing a career in commerce; she wanted to become a painter. She had made some paintings, which were appreciated by her teachers, but her parents did not think highly of painters even though there were many very successful painters in their knowledge. According to them, she must choose something which was a sure thing.
lack of interest in commerce led to falling of her grades. Her parents were highly alarmed and began to put more pressure on her, which was counterproductive. She became depressed. They tried to reason with her, but she just listened and hardly responded to their entreaties. By now her parents became desperate and persuaded her to see a psychiatrist. She was not very forthcoming with him also. He prescribed some medicines, which she refused to take. Her parents tried trickery by mixing the medicines in her food and drinks but she soon became wise to all that.
Still, her parents refused to approach her with an open mind, really listen to her about her aspirations. After another bad result, she committed suicide.
Where did her parents go wrongIJ The answer is simple; they refused to see the big picture. They restricted themselves to their vision for their daughter, which excluded what their daughter wanted; what were her talents; what she was capable of etc. They loved her alright but were not responsive to their daughter’s free will to choose her life. What was the result of such narrow thinkingIJ They lost their only daughter.
Similarly, we also go wrong repeatedly in our lives because we refuse to see the big picture. We are constrained by our attachments, long-held beliefs, selfish motives, rigid views and non-inclusive desires. And where do we end upIJ We waste our lives like so many.
What do we need to doIJ We must try to see the big picture shorn of prejudices, lust, greed and anger and take well-informed decisions. One will be wise to consult well-meaning persons also. This is the formula for a successful life.
Bishnoi is a spiritual writer and can bereached atspiritual@ajitbishnoi.com