Majority of us are not good listeners, as listening is a skill that requires effort and practice
All of us live a life with a strong ‘support system’ which allows us to function smoothly and provides us a sense of security. One can define this support system in many ways, but the most important component of this system is the relationship that we share with our family, friends, society and God. From the time we are born till the moment we die, we constantly seek support from someone to feel secure. This has become even more important in today’s world of cutthroat competition.
The psychosomatic disorders among people in the modern society have upped the need for a strong support system. There is a constant need to have a shoulder to cry on and someone with a patient ear to listen to problems. The question thus arises: How can these two acts be considered a valuable way to help othersIJ Well, psychologists all over the world believe that listening to a distressed person relieves him/her of the mental trauma, besides making him/her free of burden or guilt.
We all have experienced many times that after sharing our problems with someone who sincerely cares about us, we often feel relaxed. At times, we end up finding the best solution for our problems by just talking to a trustworthy companion. Hence, by listening to someone, we can help them find their own solutions to problems.
Majority of us are not good listeners, because listening is a skill that requires good amount of effort and attention on our part. To start with, we must make a habit to speak less. After all, unless we speak less, we won’t listen to others. However, most of us would probably admit that we are always more interested in talking rather than listening. So the best way is to “just listen” quietly and built the confidence level of the person who has invested his/her trust in us. Hence to truly listen to someone needs a good and strong will power.
One cannot be a good listener with any kind of preconceived notions about the other person. If we become prejudiced, then it would be a hindrance in the whole process and our relationship would come under a huge strain. We need to understand that we suffer due to our grudges and opinions from the past. Under such circumstances just to forgive and forget may sound fine but is it really possibleIJ Again, it needs a big heart to do so.
The art of self-listening offers a simple yet effective technique to help quieten and clear our mind. Practising this technique for a few times a day can make a huge difference in our lives. It will give us a chance to create inner silence, listen to our own thoughts as they emerge and to get in touch with our true self. By listening regularly to what is going on in our mind will give us a chance to check and even curb our negative tendencies.
Hence when we learn to listen to the self, only then we can listen to others. So start listening to yourself, become compassionate to others and heal the world.
The writer is a spiritual educator