We are a part of him and God is always keen to become our friend, writes AJIT KUMAR BISHNOI
A friend is a person you know well and like, and friendship is a relationship between two persons, which could be close, lasting or lifelong. How does friendship start and with whomIJ The first friends all of us make are our parents, especially mothers. This friendship is need-based and generally lasts. Next comes friendship with siblings, if there are any.
Simultaneously, we become friends with our grandparents, if they are living with us in joint families. Then come peers in schools/colleges. Colleagues in workplaces are next whom we befriend. Simultaneously, we become friends with our spouses or we should become. Children are next whom we must befriend for common good. lastly come sundry persons whom we meet accidently and like.
What are the qualities which cement/foster friendshipIJ The first requirement is to spend quality time together on a regular basis. Why do mothers become better friends than fathersIJ Because mothers make sure that they are with their children for long periods and they generally don’t fail them. A mother’s relationship with her children comes closest to what love really is, which is crucial to sustain any friendship.
Then comes sacrifice. Again, mothers are the best examples because they give without expecting anything material in return. The fourth quality which helps to become friends is by giving service to someone in need. Sharing is another factor which really helps. Then comes forgiveness and tolerance, because as human beings, we all have faults without exception.
We must accept these from those we have made our friends, ie we must have big hearts. We must not abandon our friends when they are going through a bad period. lastly, we should learn to focus on strengths and appreciate the same rather than look for faults and try to reform our friends. They will become better by emulating our good behaviour because good qualities like bad ones rub on others.
Now the causes which effectively kill friendship or do not allow them to sustain. The first is selfishness; when we are oblivious of the needs or feelings of the other person. Or we are not willing to listen; we have already made up our minds. Or we stop all communication in a fit of anger. We are not ready to adjust or willing to compromise.
When we magnify faults or refuse to see good qualities. Respect is another quality which is essential in any friendship. Having not much in common is also a deterrent to close friendship. Friendship is dented when we abandon someone who is having a lean or bad period. losing contact for a long period effectively diminishes friendship. And trying to have too many friends reduces the quality of friendship because we are limited in the time we can spend with them.
Whom should we definitely have friendship withIJ God comes to the mind first because we are a part of him and god is always keen to become our friend. let us remember that god is all-powerful, who can help us like no one can. Our families come next. These include our parents and spouses, if we are married, and children, if we have them.
Then come our teachers or spiritual gurus. This friendship must have respect in large doses. Our peers or colleagues also deserve our friendship or at least decent behaviour. Then we must be nice and generous to people who serve us and are not so fortunate. lastly, we must love mother nature, which provides so much to us. Good friendship is a divine quality which we should treasure. Rather we cannot do without it. I welcome your comments.
Bishnoi is a spiritual writer and can be reached at spiritual@ajitbishnoi.com