We often act impulsively, mostly on instinctive promptings. And in a fit of action, one seldom cares to appreciate other’s sensibilities and concerns. One does not realise that one such act can make a dent on one’s relationships. And if that becomes a habit tendency, its fallout could lead to disastrous consequences sooner or later. The irony, however, is that even after the damage is done, one may not realise that she/he himself was responsible for it.
A case in point is of someone in mid-50s who came asking one day in a state of desperation: “What is in store of my destiny in terms of marital stabilityIJ Will it surviveIJ My marital relationship has suddenly gone for a toss for no valid reasons. A simple misunderstanding led my partner into a defiant mode. When I try to explain, she won’t listen. living together is becoming difficult day-by-day. I am clueless about how to handle the situation”
Well, it will be unfair to talk about partner’s fault lines without looking into your own habit tendencies, I responded. Your problem today, doesn’t seem to be a result of misunderstanding had on just one count. The particular event just acted as a trigger, which excited all her pent up feelings piled up for long. If you dispassionately self-reflect, you may be able figure out as to what really lies at the root of your problem. And without making necessary corrections in your behavioural pattern, it will be unfair to look for a congenial behaviour from the other side as would be true to your expectations.
A look at mind-traits of you two, as is implied by lagna and Moon signs, reveal that both of you wish to live on your own exclusive terms, but with a difference. Whereas you act impulsively without applying proper forethought, as you are aggressive, irritable, impatient and intolerant. Always keen to be at the head of things, you wish to carry on life more in a demanding than giving mode. Also, you are judgmental, and carry a perfectionist attitude. You wish others to prove to your self-defined dos and don’ts, and if ever you find them wanting, it becomes difficult for you to digest. You may then become over critical and shall not hesitate passing caustic remarks. So, habitually you keep offending others. All these stand true to the characteristics of being born in Mercury owned Virgo sign, read together with Moon occupying a movable and fiery sign Aries.
Against that, your partner has lot of patience, and will take time to react and respond. She can put up with lot of provocation and for long, until pushed to the wall. But with stock pile of pent up feelings gathered over a period of time, once it goes beyond her tolerance limit, she may react with a sense of vengeance. And in a fit of anger, she may lose sense of direction and proportion and unmindfully act unintelligently. The intent is to tease the other side, but in the process shall harm herself as well. In fact, her lagna sign Gemini, again Mercury owned, is more volatile than Virgo. She can’t withstand contrarian views. But her mind-signifying Moon posited in Saturn owned sign Aquarius, which accounts for her patience, and delayed response.
Coming back to the man’s characteristics, his other habit tendencies too need to be looked at. For, they, too, make him vulnerable to get into self-undoing acts. The Sun is opposite Moon, both shadowed by Rahu. In the first place, it makes him emotionally volatile, who may get over exercised even on trivial issues, and keep mulling over them for long. Second, under the spell of his delusionary visions, he may often misdirect his energies towards unproductive ends. Third, he may unnecessarily worry too much.
Mars placed adverse to Mercury, Uranus, and Neptune, make him temperamental, foul mouthed, irritable, argumentative, irrational, and self-centred. He may suffer from identity crisis, which brings in the tendency to prove himself on each and every count, and by whatever means possible. He may be imaginative, but subject to self-deception. He may carry unrealistic view point towards life. Saturn opposite Neptune makes him self-deluding and moody. And the result is there to see.
He was advised to work upon his inherent frailties without further loss of time. As he shows improvement in his conduct, his partner may soften her stand. With passage of time things may settle down, but not without reforming himself. So, meanwhile, act with prudence and patience, and be vigilant not to provoke her.
The writer is an astrologer, vastu consultant and spiritual counsellor. Write to him at G-102, Bharat Nagar, New Friends Colony, New Delhi – 110 025 Tel: 91-11-49848475/9818037273 Email: pioneerqueries@bharatastro.com Website: www.bharatastro.com