The other day a lady under acute stress came seeking guidance. She had two problems. First, her daughter had become defiant. She didn’t listen to her command. Second, she had given up a good job, because she found it too demanding, and then joined her husband’s business being operated from home. She had thought of being at ease working from home office. But soon she got bored and is therefore, looking for a job. But she has so far not been able to get a job of her choice. She wished to know as to what lies in store of her destiny. Also, if any puja needs to be done for quick relief.
Well, the problem is in your mind. You are trying to play upon your own mirror image superimposed on your daughter. You are accordingly trying to set the terms of her life by that very measure. Caught up in your own perceptions, you forget that your daughter doesn’t necessarily need to play second fiddle to you. She deserves independent space by herself, and allowed to grow in her own right. After all, your crutch support won’t be available to her for long.
Not able to digest my advisory, the lady countered: “Sir, I am concerned about my daughter, and so I wish to lead her through. She doesn’t pay attention to her studies and therefore, has not been performing well. I wish to tutor her so that she becomes a performer.”
Well, your intent is beyond question. But your mannerism doesn’t seem to be right. A look at your chart reveals that you would be domineering by nature. So, you may wish to commandeer her life, and would expect unquestioned compliance. Your daughter is not the type who may blindly submit to your dictates. She has attained an age when a sense of independence overtakes one’s mind’s drive. What is even more important to appreciate is that everybody is born unique, each displaying varying mental predisposition. Not even twins come out with similar traits. The onus is now on you to understand her mind and psyche, and accordingly articulate ways and means to engage with your daughter with ease and comfort.
Here, I recall how a teacher used to deal with his two grand-children different ways. He used to be very strict with the younger one, but handled the elder one very softly. One day, I asked him: “Sir, do you love the elder grandchild more than the younger one is why you engage with him softlyIJ” He said: “No. As a teacher I understand the psyche of the two. If I interfere too much in the elder’s domain, he may not take it kindly, and shall get enraged. If allowed a free run, he takes it as a challenge to prove himself in his own right. And if I am not strict with the younger one, he will keep playing, and will not attend to his studies.”
A look at the lady’s astrological pointers reveal how her own sense of insecurities and mental inconsistencies have been playing spoil in their relationship. lagna lord Sun is placed adverse to mischievous Neptune and erratic Rahu. She is stuck to her self-delusionary perceptions, often distanced from ground realities, and not open to look beyond. She may not acknowledge truth on its first appearance, and shall continue moving on hope against hope till pushed to the wall. In the process, she may mindlessly keep dissipating her energies towards unproductive ends, and evidently, to her detriment. Also, she may not know what she should expect from life, and therefore, shall never be contended in life.
Mind signifying Moon is placed adverse to Jupiter, which speaks of her volatile emotionality. She may get over exercised even on trivial issues and may unnecessarily keep mulling over them for long. Moon placed adverse to Mars makes her irritable, temperamental, and domineering by nature. Saturn aspects the Moon, which brings in a sense of fear and insecurity. It also makes her susceptible to depression, particularly when things do not move on expected lines.
Now look at the factors holding the key to unease in mother-daughter relationship. 5th sub-lord Mercury, identified with children, occupies the lunar constellation owned by Moon posited in the 5th house itself, and which is ill-disposed to Saturn, the lagna sub-lord. So, the factors holding the key to lady’s sense of insecurity, is what governs mother-child relationship as well. So does she overzealously wish to guard her daughter, even if it amounts to the child’s undue encroachment in latter’s independent space.
The writer is an astrologer, vastu consultant and spiritual counsellor. Write to him at G-102, Bharat Nagar, New Friends Colony, New Delhi – 110 025
Tel: 91-11-49848475/9818037273 Email: pioneerqueries@bharatastro.comWebsite: www.bharatastro.com