Most of us make the mistake of treating life as a destination. When we do so we start suffering from a strange fear of missing out
The biggest news of November 2013 has been the retirement of the God of Cricket Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar. Naturally, the month would leave painful memories in the minds of the vast multitude of cricket lovers for whom cricket is nothing short of religion. Well, their God has decided to call it a day. And for many this is still an unpalatable truth. But this, it has to be understood, is the biggest reality of life. That we all must retire. Everything comes to an end. That is the story of life. True, many would vouch that Tendulkar still had plenty of cricket left in him, given the way he played his final innings. But so was the case which Steve Waugh and many others. They all called quits when others thought they could have pulled on for some more time. It is here that lies the real trick — when to stop. And no one else can take this decision. Yes, it is a difficult call to take, but like in cricket in life, too, a lot depends on timing. If the timing is correct you get accolades. But if your timing is shoddy, you exit unceremoniously. That brings us to a very important question — why do we err in taking such crucial decisionsIJ Why do we choose to hang around and often get the bootIJ The problem lies in our hankering for more and more, our inability to tame the ego, in our weakness of not letting go. Our possessiveness. Be it wealth, be it fame, be it power. But the wise know when to exit. It is this decision that holds the key to grace and subsequent greatness. By realising the temporariness of life we can attain permanence.
Temptations do come in life. And these temptations make it difficult to take objective decisions in life. But for those who can resist temptations, life can be joy, it can lead to contentment. However, to attain this one has to understand life first. The biggest mistake that most of us make is in misunderstanding life as a destination because when we think so we start suffering from a strange fear, the fear of missing out. Oh, we could have done this, and this, and this too, had we carried on for some more time. But there is no end to this. The mind keeps on wandering and makes us wander. It is the sheer greed, craving for something more, that stops us from stopping. The difficulty is that for most of the people greed and motivation are synonymous. Nothing can be further from the truth. Greed is the attraction towards external pleasures while motivation is the inner drive. Classical motivation theory very clearly spells out that self actualisation is the highest need and can only be obtained after the achievement need is over come. It is the inner satisfaction that leads to self actualisation, when one understands the meaning of life and finds it. It is the need to be what one purports to be. One fulfills the need for self actualisation after crossing the four need levels of Basic, Security, Social and Achievement.
When life becomes a destination the search for the elusive goal continues creating dissatisfaction. But when life is a journey we find it easier to stop as attachment to goal is not there and we know when to let go.
The writer is professor, Indian School of Mines, Dhanbad (Jharkhand). He can be reached at ppathak.ism@gmail.com