They have made us laugh at their buffoonery, cry over their absurd natakiya rupantars and abuse under the breath at their maddeningly slow pace. But serialdom has always kept us guessing with new twists and turns. As the awards season makes its presence felt, Deebashree Mohanty tells you in a lighter vein why certain awards need to be introduced and who deserves that honour
Aa bAAIl mujhe maar Award: Neha Marda who plays Urmi in Doli Armaanon Ki.
If anyone on TV gives meaning to kulhadi par pair it’s our roti dhoti Urmi bahu. It’s been 250 episodes already but none that passes without Urmi crying or feeling be-littled. So much so that Internet forum members started calling her ‘the great wail of Urmi’! What gets our goat is that each time her tyrant husband dear or pati parmeshwar vents his frustration on Urmi, she pledges to give it back and never return... but lo and behold, a couple of minutes later she is there falling at his feet begging for forgiveness. WhyIJ ‘Because she dared to say that she will say something to him!’
last we heard, Urmi bahu was on a road trip as Samrat was trying mean tricks to get her back as a maid to his khandaan.
Award meter: In absolute protest she does not get any number.
Mythology kA to band baja diya Award: Ekta Kapoor and her team for her wild natakiya rupantars in Jodha Akbar
This one takes the cake for fooling the audience in the name of historical romance. There is not one but so many glitches in the serial. One wonders if the creatives themselves know their history.
Sample this: On one special occasion, Jodha begum decides to make ‘navratan korma’ for her jallad husband Akbar! All good. Only problem is that the ‘navratan korma’ was made and christened even before the ‘navratnas’ are introduced in Akbar’s court. Ektaji, are you trying to tell us that Akbar named the nine jems as Navratnas after his begum fed him the kormaIJ Silly we! For us, it was the other way round.
Award meter: 11/10. let Balaji figure this Maths ka natakiya rupantar.
Hai-dard Award for painful prolongation: Simar’s (Deepika Samson) saural for having faced every tribulation there is in this world (including a ghost, mind you) and yet going on and on and on.
It seems like you have grown up watching Simar and her problems galoreIJ You probably suffer from too much of this Simar-Roli phobia! If you have pledged to watch the end of this show; then God be with you because we have just heard from the producers — ‘There’s lot more of ups and downs in Simar’s life’. ReallyIJ I mean, are they trying to reach Simar to the high heavensIJ How much more ‘up’ will they take herIJ
Award meter: Infinity.
Big Bang-Bang theory on TV: Manish desperate Paul and Karan Johar for their double meaning dialogues on Jhalak Dikhhla Jaa.
If there was ever a show that would put you to shame, it was Jhalak Dikhhla Jaa season 7. At one point it seemed like Paul and Johar were having a little bit of dostana at the expense of the viewers and getting paid for it too!
KJo, a sincere advise for you is please keep your gender confusion to yourself warna audience ko Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (up there in the brain)!
Award meter: sex/10
Babaji kA thullu Award: From the makers of Bade Achhe lagte Hain and Rangrasiya to their committed viewers.
These serials came, saw huge TRPs and conquered many hearts before they were pulled off air in a big haste. In some cases the lead protagonists were only told a day before the shooting was wrapped up.
We were told that because the producers got into a scuffle and would not see eye-to-eye with each other was the reason Rangrasiya was taken off air. The leads found their calling in dance reality shows which served them the trophy on a platter.
Viewers ka kyaIJ Well, babaji ka thullu.
Award meter: Missing in action.
Adult-rated: To all soap that showcased things on prime time.
If suhaag raat sequences were shown for 10 minutes, there was wife beating and brutal rape scenes that made it to the TV bandwagon and that too on prime time. No, we are not talking about the crime shows here. All this and more was revealed in our saas-bahu shows nonetheless!
A little birdie tells us that soon there will be reel time kissing on TV. We can only hope that it looks more aesthetic than it sounds.
Award meter: A-plus out of 10.
Super power award: Goes to Sooraj Thapar who played the egoist business tycoon Suresh Modi in Ek Nayee Pehchaan.
Not everyday does a man get to have an affair with a famous actresses of the yore but Thapar was two-time lucky. Imagine being married to both Poonam Dhillon and Padmini Kolhapuri in one janam.
That Thapar managed to hold on to his pehchaan post the show is praise worthy.
Award meter: 2/10
Ekkis topon ki salami Award:
To the audience who still watch Balika Vadhu and Yeh Rishta... Seriously.