Veteran, Corporate Leader, Advocate for Women in Uniform and Beyond
When my parents were putting my “Sub Lieutenant Stripes on my shoulder during my Passing Out Parade (POP) from Indian Naval Academy in 2010 and I got President’s Commission from that day and till now with that weight of responsibility on my shoulders, I wasn’t just representing the Armed Forces—I was carrying the hopes of every girl who’s ever been told she’s “not meant” for this path.
Growing up, like many girls in this country, I was no stranger to the word “can’t.”
“You can’t join the military, it’s too tough for girls.”
“You can’t think like that—it’s not ladylike.”
“You can’t dream of both a career and a family—choose one.”
These words were not just statements; they were attempts to draw lines around what women should or shouldn’t aspire to. But as I learned during my years in uniform and now in corporate leadership, those lines are meant to be crossed.
Because you can.
To every young girl sitting quietly in the back of the class, wondering if she’s allowed to speak up—to the teenager who hides her ambitions because they don’t fit the “safe” mould—to the woman fighting silent battles between duty and desire—I write this for you.
When I joined the Indian Navy, I was stepping into a world where women were still carving out space for themselves. The training was rigorous, the standards uncompromising, the expectations sky-high. But that uniform didn’t ask me if I was a man or a woman. It asked me: Are you capable? Are you committed? Are you ready to lead?
And I was.
As a Lieutenant Commander, I learned that leadership doesn’t require you to be the loudest in the room, but the most determined. It taught me that discipline and resilience don’t come from muscle, but from mindset. And it showed me that empathy—often dismissed as a “soft” skill—is actually a commander’s most powerful tool.
After transitioning to the corporate world, I carried forward the same values: integrity, strategy, and service. I entered boardrooms the same way I entered parade grounds—prepared, focused, and never apologetic for taking up space.
Yet, despite these strides, I still meet young girls who tell me they were discouraged from pursuing science, sports, or service careers. I still hear stories of talented women told to “wait their turn” or “tone it down.”
To them, I say: Don’t let the world shrink your dreams.
You are not too emotional to lead.
You are not too ambitious to succeed.
You are not asking for too much—you are asking for what’s yours.
Yes, the journey will test you. There will be failures, delays, and critics. But every time someone says, “You can’t,” you have two choices—believe them, or prove them wrong.
I chose the latter. And so can you.
You see, breaking barriers isn’t about medals or titles. It’s about deciding to show up every day as your authentic self, despite the noise. It’s about taking that entrance exam, raising your hand in that meeting, filing that application, speaking up in that room. Every step forward is a defiance of doubt—and a declaration of your worth.
India today is changing. We are witnessing women commanding warships, flying fighter jets, leading global companies, heading space missions, and shaping policy. But this isn’t enough. We need more. And that “more” starts with belief—in yourself.
So if you’ve ever been told you’re too small, too soft, too different—remember this: You were never meant to be ordinary.
Be the girl who asks questions. Be the woman who doesn’t wait for permission. Be the leader who lifts others as she climbs.
And years from now, when you look back, you’ll realize that the voice that mattered most wasn’t the one that doubted you. It was the one inside you that whispered, “Try anyway.”
I did.
You can too.
Lt Cdr Nitika Rai (Retd) served with distinction in the Indian Navy and now leads strategic programs in the corporate sector. She advocates for gender equity and leadership development among young women across India.