Validation culture: A defining measure of success
In today’s age of online networking, most people, young or old, have developed a new habit of posting personal achievements and developments, no matter if they are big or small, happy or not so happy, on WhatsApp Status, Facebook, Instagram, and other platforms. A young child who clears his examination seeks validation for his success from not just close acquaintances but from online contacts as well. A college student wins a competition, but the celebration seems incomplete until the photographs go online. A young professional gets a new job and, before settling into the new role, updates his profile, announcing the achievement to the world.
The trend is not unusual anymore.
In today’s world, life is increasingly being lived in two places — the real world and the virtual. Between the two lies validation. Likes, comments, followers, shares, views, and reactions may appear trivial, but they increasingly influence how people see themselves and measure their achievements. What was once a private moment of happiness now seeks acknowledgement from the public. The desire to be recognised and appreciated is an inherent human nature, of course. It indeed works as a positive reinforcer. A child looks towards a parent after winning a race; a student waits for a teacher’s approval; an employee hopes for recognition from a superior. We all look forward to being appreciated and to knowing that our efforts matter. But something has changed. The audience has grown, the applause has become measurable, and comparison has become constant. Social media has transformed validation from an occasional experience into a daily habit.
A photograph/video is uploaded, and the waiting begins. Who liked it? Who did not? Why did a particular friend see the story but not react? Why did someone else receive thousands of likes for what appears to be an ordinary post?
These questions may sound harmless, but repeated often enough, they can affect self-esteem. For a section of young people, validation has become almost addictive. The notification on a phone provides a tiny burst of happiness, while silence results in disappointment. The problem is not the desire to receive appreciation. The problem begins when external approval becomes the yardstick for internal worth.
A person usually finds himself or herself asking, “Do I like this?” but “Will people like this?”
That is a subtle but significant change.
It can be seen in something as simple as photographs. Selection is done from dozens of pictures taken that appear to be “perfect”. The image is edited, the caption is carefully chosen and the post is timed. What the world sees is not necessarily false, but it is certainly selective and fabricated to a certain extent. And therein lies the irony: while social media promises connection, it can sometimes encourage young people to curate themselves rather than reveal themselves. The culture of validation also encourages a particularly dangerous habit — comparison.
The addiction to scrolling through updates about the lives, achievements and celebrations of others is at an all-time high. People see seemingly perfect bodies, homes, lifestyles and celebrations, while the viewer, dealing with ordinary problems, can become trapped in the so-called “highlight-reel effect”. The comparison is unfair, as the struggles behind these achievements are rarely visible.
Definitely, the old saying, “The grass is always greener on the other side,” has never seemed more relevant. Another most visible change introduced by validation culture is the changed meaning of success itself. Traditionally, achievement was associated with qualities such as perseverance, discipline, knowledge, and integrity. Today, visibility often accompanies success, often overshadowing it. A person who quietly builds his/her CV/profitable business may receive less attention than someone who frequently posts about his/her achievements. A talented artist working for years may remain unnoticed while a less accomplished but more visible creator has a huge fan following. This, however, does not mean social media success is meaningless. Far from it. Digital platforms have opened doors that were previously closed.
A young musician from a small Indian town can reach listeners across the country, while students and entrepreneurs can showcase their work and find opportunities online. Activists can also mobilise support for causes within hours.
The same technology that creates pressure can create opportunity by giving voice to those who remain unheard. Social media can build confidence by offering recognition to ideas, creativity and talent. Simply blaming social media, therefore, misses the point. Seeking recognition is natural, and social media is not inherently an enemy.
The real danger lies in confusing recognition with identity. Perhaps the most troubling consequence of the validation culture is the pressure to appear happy. A quiet evening may feel less valuable because it is not “post-worthy”. A simple achievement may seem insignificant because someone else has achieved something bigger. Even relationships can become partly performative, with photographs and public declarations becoming symbols of success. In such an environment, “keeping up with the Khuranas/Chhabras” has acquired a digital form. The Khuranas/Chhabras may not even be neighbours anymore. They may be influencers, classmates, celebrities or complete strangers appearing on a screen. Following the trend and mad race for unneeded competition has detrimental impacts. People gradually learn to prioritise appearance over authenticity; public approval can become more important than personal satisfaction; careers may be chosen for prestige rather than passion, and achievements may be pursued for applause rather than purpose. Over time, this can create a society that is increasingly concerned with how things look rather than what they actually are. The consequences, hence, are far beyond impacting self-esteem. There isn’t a need to panic; the need to reject technology is not a solution either. The need of the hour is to develop digital maturity. People should be able to enjoy an experience without photographing it, celebrate without announcing it, and create without constantly checking whether others approve.
It is important to understand that a follower count is not a character certificate. A viral post is not necessarily an achievement. A criticism in a comment section does not define a person’s worth. And silence from an online audience does not make one’s efforts meaningless.
Digital maturity lies in internalising that not everything meaningful needs an audience. And that the applause eventually fades. This indeed would be a liberating force. It is important to understand that life is all about learning and not being defined by success; rather, failure teaches you the toughest lessons of life. It is hard work, perseverance, resilience, and dedication that add value to our lives and polish our personalities. In the age of social media, remember: not everything visible is valuable, and not everything valuable is visible.
The writer is an Assistant Professor of Political Science at Sri Guru Gobind Singh College of Commerce, University of Delhi; Views presented are personal.
