Three habits that happy people practise every day
After 13 years of working with individuals in business, academia and government, I have identified three important habits of people who tend to be happier at work.
These habits — deliberate practice, appreciation and equanimity — are not philosophical constructs but practical tools for becoming a little happier each day.
Being deliberate makes a big difference. It’s easy to assume that I will be happy only when I get what I want, but it takes deliberate decision-making to be happy most of the time and sad only when things go extremely wrong.
This is what I call your proactive tendency. Are you taking small steps every day to become more open to change (if things don’t happen your way), or are you becoming more rigid?
This brings us to the next habit: appreciating what you have. Appreciation is not about waiting for something great before you value it; rather, it is your ability to savour the process as well. Research in neuroscience suggests that the brain systems driving ‘wanting’ are separate from those producing ‘liking’. That is why people who do not appreciate the process tend to chase after things they think will make them happy, but once they have them, it feels like nothing. It gives happiness only momentarily.
The last and most important pillar that will help you practise both of the above is equanimity. Things will not always go your way; there are no linear pathways in life. Your plans will fail, people will change, and you might lose things you value. That is what Buddha meant when he said that life is suffering because we don’t understand that things are anicca (impermanent).
Recognise that you can only change a few things every day (through deliberate practice), appreciate the process, and remain equanimous when the path is hard. A military veteran I once taught said, “Under extreme pressure, the calmest soldiers were not those who were the bravest but those who were the most accepting that things would not go their way.” Hold your ground and change only what you can. Take the middle path.
The writer is Faculty IIM Indore; Views presented are personal.
