Marriage a social, legal and cultural institution

Human beings have four basic necessities/urges. These are eating, sleeping, mating and defending. Marriage is peculiar to the human species. Animals don’t practice it. There is another big difference between humans and animals. In case of humans, marriage is mostly chosen to meet the need for mating. In case of animals, it is might is right, which is: the most powerful has the choice of partners. Humans have chosen marriage as a social, legal and cultural institution.

There are two types of marriages. One is arranged by mostly parents of boy and girl. It has a distinct benefit of not being entirely love at sight type of marriage. Parents make a considered choice; they are likely to be objective. The married partners are also likely to be more adjusting, because they don’t have unrealistic expectations. This adjustment part may be lacking in love at first sight type of marriage, though not necessarily so. The later is likely to be more due to bodily attractions than an objective assessment of another. Faulty personal nature also comes in the way of success of such marriages. All marriages, whether arranged or otherwise should not disregard the need for companionship critically required by human beings, because souls are parts of God and are incomplete in themselves.

Only devotees of God, especially ‘sannyasis’ (celibates) are able to manage to avoid marriage successfully; they have company of God. Others must have human company, which a family provides nicely. It assures complementary and supplementary support throughout the life, first from spouse and later from children.

In spite of many advantages of marriage, they do breakdown due to multiple reasons, main is infidelity. However, lack of adjustment is not far behind. Divorces result and go upto 40% in a country like the USA. Now many try to avoid this happening and prefer the live-in relationship. It has reached a high percentage of 10 again in the USA. Unfortunately, such a relationship has many basic flaws. The worst part is failing to secure company in old age, when one is likely to be quite lonely.

It is no wonder that God does not approve of it. The relationship must be according to ‘dharma’ (established rules and laws), as instructed in the Bhagavad-Gita verse #7.11. One must take life-long responsibilities, God, Himself, gets married in His incarnations to set a high standard of behaviour. For most of us human beings, the marriage must be a sacred duty.

Lastly, I must warn readers that mating is an urge, that is all. It pleases but does not satisfy, as no sense enjoyments ever do. People even lose their health, if this mating urge is carried beyond 50 years age, when good health is at a premium. Satisfaction is only available with God – the Source. Seeking it anywhere else is a major case of failure of all such relationships. It is time to seek satisfaction where it is, that is with God, especially in a marriage.

The writer is a spiritual teacher and a columnist; Views presented are personal.