As the sun goes down the Vrindavan skyline, a group of women - young and aged, draped in white sarees canter hurriedly towards a temple to sing hymns hailing lord Krishna and in turn get Rs 10 each. Majority of them have been abandoned by their families after the death of their husbands and live in deprivation with the belief that they will achieve salvation if they die in this city.
The holy city of Vrindavan, also known as City of Widows, for the consisderable number of women seek shelter here after being shunned by their families. It is also believed that God will not let anyone starve here and hence the widows swarm the city.
All these widows have one thing in common - their tragic pqast and uncertainty.
Asha Devi Mandal (62) recounts how the elder brother of her husband tried to rape she was widowed. When she complained to her mother-in-law she was in turn branded inauspicious and hurriedly packed off to Vrindavan
She recalled how she was loved and admired by her in-laws in her youth. “I was my mother- in law’s darling. But equations changed after my husband’s death. I was not invited for marriages or any auspicious occasion as people in my village believed that even my shadow could bring bad luck,” she said.
Monideepa was 32 and the proud mother of a son and a daughter, when her husband died in Murshidabad. She toiled hard in the agriculture fields to earn a living trying to educate her children. Her son graduated with Science Honors and got a job in a private company in Burdwan. Ironically, after his marriage the unworthy son his mother out of the house.
“I left my village and spent some time in a temple in Hazarduari initially. But later I decided to come to Vrindavan and have been staying here since 2001. My daughter once came to take me back but I refused. I am more comfortable here,” she said turning her head away. “I know I have a grandson and I want to see him. But I wuill return to my village only if my son comes and asks me to go with him,” she said. There are hundreds of women in the age group of 22 and 100, been abandoned by their family and living lives of obscurity. Some have been here for over 40 years.
One of them is Manu Ghosh (86) did not want to talk about her family. “I got married to God after the death of my husband. I am lucky to be here,” she said. But not all agree with her. There are widows who rea frank to admit the hardships they face in ashrams and how they are forced to beg for food and clothes when they do not get support from `Bhajan’ ashrams.
“life is not that easy here. I can only say that a widow is a woman and every one knows what happens to a woman who loses her husband,” says Urmila Sarkar of Murshidabad.
The plight of these hapless widows surfaced after the National legal Service Authority sought protection of these women from the Supreme Court a widow died on the streets of Vrindavan in 2012. The Apex Court asked the Government to take pro-active steps and asked an NGO - Sulabh International, to extend financial help to them. The NGO adopted 1500 widows and provided for their basic needs besides giving Rs 2000 to purchase essentials of life. These women are now learning the art of making incense sticks (agarbattis) and garlands which have definitely instilled a sense of security among them.
The Sulabh International also tried to add colours to their miserable lives. Breaking tradition thousand of these widows played Holi – the festival of colour - on Monday in one of the oldest Krishna temples of the region constructed in 1559. Priests chanted religious shlokas as these white saree-clad women splashed colours at each other to celebrate Holi, unmindful of or igorring the prohibitory stigma attached to widows.
“It is an effort to break the age old tradition prevalent in Hindu society where widows were not allowed to play colours,” says Dr Bindeshwar Pathak, Chairman of Sulabh Social Movement.
“Their participation in Holi symbolises a break from the tradition forbidding a widow from wearing coloured clothes, among many other things,” he said.
Hundreds of widows gathered at the courtyard of the temple and started throwing gulal and petals at each other at the auspicious time. The young widows jostled with each other to smear gulal at each others face while the elderly ones quietly put tilak at each others’ forehead with singers singing Holi songs in the background.
The white sarees of the widows were shinning in the myriad hues with their joyous faces painted blue, red and green. “I am so happy. I am playing Holi after 12 years. I am happy, very happy,” said Aruna Samaddar. “We got just one day to celebrate life, let’s do it to the hilt,” she said as she threw a handful of gulal at a group of widows sitting at the temple gate.