It is generally believed that it is the children who need to learn academics in schools and other aspects at home, but the instances of depressed and anxiety-ridden schoolchildren in Dehradun make it seem as if it is the parents who need to be taught some aspects of parenting.
Take the example of the girl studying in class IX who had suffered from depression because her mother used to repeatedly criticise her for the marks she secured in her school examinations. “No matter how much hard-work the girl did, her mother used to scold her. The mother tended to point out her child’s mistakes and scold her for not scoring higher marks while citing money spent on her education to categorise her performance as not satisfactory. With the passage of time the girl went under depression to such an extent that she also left school. The daughter often complained of stomach aches but doctors could not diagnose her problem until later when it was found that she was suffering from a psychosomatic disorder which is a condition in which factors like mental stress cause physical sickness.
After undergoing two sessions of counseling and psychotherapy, her problem was resolved. The counseling was also given to the parents of the girl who is now attending school regularly,” said nuero clinical psychologist and member of Central Board of Secondary Education (CBSE), Dr Sona Gupta. She stressed that instead of criticising their children, the parents should genuinely appreciate the children for their work.
Citing another case, Dr Gupta spoke of a boy studying in class II, suffering from attention deficiency problem which prevented him from concentrating on his studies. It turned out that the problem was being caused due to the mother’s regular lecturing and telling him to focus on his studies. After the parents underwent counseling, the situation has improved with boy also doing better in school, she said. Parents should desist from giving inappropriate lectures to their children and should guide their child in a manner which is in accordance with the child’s age
Regarding aspects of parenting, Dr Gupta said, “A child is less likely to study if her or his siblings are playing, with the television switched on and the mother occupied in the kitchen. Parents should sit with their children when they are studying,” she emphasised.
In context of the rising trend of substance abuse especially by youngsters, she cited the case of a school-going boy whose sleeping hours were inordinately long. His mother later found some prescription medicine with her child which had been causing him to sleep more. Being a case of substance abuse, they took their boy first to a psychologist for treatment where the boy also underwent counseling. The parents also underwent a couple of counseling sessions which helped improved the situation. “Parents should talk to their children and discourage them for smoking, drinking alcohol and other forms of substance abuse. Among the younger age-group some people tend to influence the child to try drugs and alcohol. The parents need to be alert and inform their child about the danger and ill-effects of substance abuse. They should also talk to their kids freely rather than scolding them,” opined Dr Gupta.