Our culture has been rather fixated over equating increasing age with a higher degree of wisdom. So much so that we discount intelligence, creativity and all other parameters of success in the face of this socially exalted parameter called 'experience'. For generations we have been socialised into associating higher age with a sense of veneration. Children are spoon fed into believing that, whatever elders in their family and kin folk tell them are unquestionable truths.
The dynamics of communication between generations are highly hierarchical in nature. On the one hand we teach children the difference between right and wrong and on the other hand, they are muted, when it comes to voicing their grievances against their elders. Children under the ages of ten years are extremely perceptible of adult behaviour. They internalise this pattern of behaviour and get perplexed when it does not match with the standards of socially permissible behaviour they have been taught at school or in the family group. They are ,however, helpless in the wake of the double standards of popular culture, where an idealistic code of action and expression is limited to childhood only. We, as adults enjoy this liberty to twist and bend the ethical models of social behaviour in a manner which we find convenient for ourselves.
Under the aegis of this cultural ecosystem, the malaise of child abuse has been lurking for ages, until recently when it has eventually started to elicit some media attention.
It is extremely appalling that all the incidents legally acknowledged and reported by the media, are firstly not even one tenth of the actual number of crimes. Secondly these are the cases which involve only physical or sexual forms of abuse. The World Health Organisation (WHO) has explicitly defined child abuse as an umbrella term including not just the sexual and physical but also emotional, nutritional as well as neglect ( medical and emotional), as forms of abuse.
There are two questions here, which may seem to outdo each other in importance.
Firstly, why despite the tightening of laws, expanding reach of awareness campaigns and a deluge of non-governmental organisations operating on this manifesto, is the reporting of child abuse incidents so slim IJ Here what puzzles further, is that the reporting remains slim even in metropolitan places.
Secondly, why do all the policy making organisations, schools and media discount emotional neglect of young ones from the list of abuse parametersIJ
Both these questions in fact stem from the same root. This root is undeniably the faulty equations of power between adults and children in our social system. It is no wonder then that three fourth incidents of sexual violation of girls, are carried out either by a family member, relative or a neighbour. Reason being that children have to respect the moral authority of family adults. Adults being providers, cannot be questioned or even retaliated against. Even when the victims seek help, the matter is buried within the humdrum of family affairs, as spilling the news in public would mean shame for the entire family. It is shocking how even the victim's parents and siblings refuse to take punitive action against the perpetrators, in the name of family honour. More often they even question the credibility of the victim's experience.
It is hard to even estimate the setback caused to the child victim, in terms of her/his dignity and mental health. Such children are extremely vulnerable to clinical depression and bipolar disorder during adolescence.
It is equally intriguing, as to why enough focus is never given to the emotional neglect of children. Be it children who grow up in orphanages or those who are brought up in day care and hostels, not receiving quality attention from care givers causes tremendous psychological trauma to them. In this scenario, children end up lacking adequate social skills. It is a paradox that in urban setups, where cautious measures are being taken to ensure physical and sexual safety of children, neglect and lack of emotional connection are rampant.
Child care is a holistic phenomenon where no requirement of the child can be traded off. What we need to tell our children is that anyone, an adult family member, educator or relative, is also capable of wrong doing.
The child has to be explained what all for him / her is permissible and what all is unacceptable. A sense of judgement has to be inculcated in children. Their voices need to be acknowledged and encouraged in all the institutions where children are involved. This screwed up child-adult, culturally devised equation has to be seriously revised. This will in fact mean the real child empowerment , where we deal with him/her as someone just less socially experienced but equal in various other respects.
(The writer is a retired officer of Uttarakhand Government. Views expressed are personal)