Life as we know has taken a complete 180-degree turn suddenly amid the Coronavirus pandemic. It’s hard not to feel a sense of gloom with lockdown and quarantine becoming the norm and we, being stuck indoors over the last several weeks.
As we are growing accustomed to this new reality, akin to a dystopian movie, hope springs eternal in tough times.
Amid all the gloom, however, I received a good news of my little sister (cousin) getting married on April 26, the same date which was fixed few months back considering auspicious astrological coordinates but sadly, fell in the midst of the unsettling Coronavirus.
Since the country is under lockdown and Punjab under curfew, social distancing has become a norm and a social gathering was not an option on the wedding day. So, my sister Tanvi and her fiancé Nitin, decided to get married over the video conferring app- Zoom, as a big fat Punjabi wedding at a luxury resort was out of the question and a lifetime of togetherness was their priority now.
It is no secret that Punjabi wedding rituals are nothing short of a happy joy ride, set in an extravagant backdrop with dazzling array of colors on display, people all decked up in designer costumes, scintillating display of dancing skills and the vast array of food. My cousin got engaged a little less than six months ago and had also planned a fairy –tale wedding that involved getting married in a picturesque location with family members and friends by her side.
Nonetheless, at the time when many others already postponed their weddings until things get back to normal, my sister and her fiancé decided to tie the knot at a small ceremony to be held at home with friends and family in attendance virtually to ensure social distancing norm. After the final decision, the only thing on our mind was which ceremonies can be organized virtually and attended by as many people as possible. Apart from a wedding over the video conferring app, we decided to hold a mehndi and sangeet ceremony a day before the night of April 26.
The couple, both engineers working in Gurugram returned to their hometown Amritsar on April 24, two days before the wedding to make as much preparations as possible for the big day. As meticulously planned in a short span of time, we went ahead with a virtual mehndi and sangeet ceremony on April 25, which was attended by family members from various parts of India and abroad. Interestingly, a sangeet ceremony was never so much fun before with family members especially ladies joining in with minimal make up and a presentable stay-at-home outfits.
While the ritual of applying mehndi on the hands of the bride-to-be was in progress, the ladies began sangeet ceremony by singing Punjabi folk songs, also known as ‘ghodiyaan’ or ‘suhaag’ in Punjab, which was followed by a few rounds of Antakshari. ‘Kala Doria Kundey Naal’, ‘Madhaniya’, ‘Charkha Chana Da’ among others were some of the traditional songs sung by the ladies. Though there was no dholki, a pianist, a guitarist and a Trombone player kept the family members entertained via zoom.
The sangeet, which began at 7 pm and continued till midnight, saw emotions running high as some family members could not held back their tears of joy. Perhaps, there was a little bit of sadness for an inability to be present during the wedding as well as a feeling of contentment as a daughter in the family was set to enter a new phase of life.
Without a doubt, it was an unusual experience and a most cherished ladies sangeet with all of us getting connected virtually yet going through a whirlwind of emotions. After enthusiastically singing scores of songs and a discussion about the timings of the wedding, we signed off for the day.
The next day, wedding rituals were to take place from 2 pm onwards. And, as decided, we all got connected through zoom, some even made an effort to dress up for the wedding but I was definitely not one of them.
Half an hour before the wedding ceremony began, the bride connected with all the cousins through WhatsApp video call, obviously to receive compliments and to make sure that she looked perfect on her special day. Soon, the guests started logging in from their homes to attend the wedding ceremony and bless the couple. In all, around 45 families and several friends of the couple connected via zoom as the priest chanted hymns, also detailing their vows, in front of the sacred fire. Parents and siblings of groom and bride were by their side throughout the rituals.
The entire ceremony continued for about two hours and to be honest, too many virtual attendees did result in a dreadful plummet in sound quality with several requests being sent to the attendees to mute their voices but still, they managed to make it a loud Punjabi wedding.
As family and friends waved to one another from the small boxes on the screen, the wedding celebrations with unmuted conversations continued picking up side conversations and there were also some complaints related to camera placement but we all got used to it after sometime.
We, of course, witnessed the most important wedding ritual involving the bride and groom moving around the sacred fire seven times while the priest chanted the holy mantras and later, asked the bride’s father to do ‘kanyadaan’ ritual that symbolizes the father giving his daughter away to her husband.
Not even in our wildest dreams did we imagine to attend such a wedding but the silver lining was all family members got connected online even those from USA, Switzerland and various parts of India, who could not have managed to attend the wedding, even in normal circumstances.
After the rituals concluded, the newly married couple did not disappoint the attendees and interacted with the family and friends humbly accepting their best wishes and blessings.
As they bid adieu to their virtual guests and logged out of the zoom wedding session, the ceremony gave us one-of-a-kind sweet and unique memories and lessons too. These were: The Coronavirus crisis has apparently helped limiting unbridled wedding time extravagance. Apparently, pulling off a wedding amid a pandemic was not an easy task but “Where there is a will, there is a way”.
Uncertainty looms large in today’s time, so does the glimmers of hope.