Somebody said, “Do not worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are watching you!” It is wrong to assume that children do not note adult behaviour.
The issue of child abuse was powerfully presented recently in a Hindi film. The young director of the film, Imtiaz Ali, took the route of a highway kidnapping incident by a member of a criminalised social group to narrate his story and project this dark and murky side of society. It was not a typical masala film and bordered more on class and technique of art cinema. The story revolved around a very delicate and grim subject that needed very deft handling and artistically nuanced to convey the trauma of the victim, and the director did succeed in making a powerful impact. Unfortunately and regrettably, the gory reality is much more painful than the celluloid picture that we were treated to.
Child abuse is described in the Encyclopaedia Britannica as the wilful infliction of pain and suffering on children through physical, sexual, or emotional mistreatment. Its application is expanded to include verbal abuse, and the failure to furnish proper shelter, nourishment and medical treatment etc. In the Indian context, considering the socio-economic scenario and the Human Development Index, including neglect or lack of care etc. as elements of child abuse would be too far-fetched. Even verbal, physical and emotional mistreatment would be far too common to be really assessed for any effective intervention. We may therefore, restrict this discussion to sexual abuse only, a context that is understood today, thanks to greater awareness, going beyond the muted mention behind closed doors.
However, instead of finding safeguards against such offences or punishing the guilty, the typical middle class thinking keeps reference to any such incidents under wraps. The false sense of family prestige leads to overlooking the early signs of trouble and avoiding exposing the perpetrators. What is not realised is that this tacit denial and ostrich type attitude encourages the offender to continue with his predatory activities. It also means that there is no redressal of the long-term psychological trauma and suffering of the victim in the absence of expert counselling, psychotherapeutic intervention and emotional support. This is worsened by lack of public shaming of the culprit before the child to build up his/her confidence.
It is believed by experts that incident of child abuse may lead to grave consequences like anxiety, nervous behaviour, aggression, depression, withdrawal, extreme inhibition and relationship difficulties, delayed physical growth, impaired language and cognitive abilities and problems in personality development etc. The most disturbing element of this malaise is twosome — the lack of safety of a child within the confines of his/her own house, and the pusillanimous silence of the family to such violation. Further, the incidents often happen at the hands of relatives or someone close to the family that makes disclosure all the more difficult due to the feeling of guilt or shame, erroneously felt by those who could lead the intervention.
This aspect came upfront towards the end of the film, Highway when the victim of child abuse openly challenged the perpetrator in the presence of other members of the family. The offender of course, reacted and protested with a contrived sense of injured innocence. Earlier, Aamir Khan had also brought this discussion in the public domain through his tele-programme called Satyamev Jayate, where a number of men and women openly accepted to have been victims of child abuse within their own families.
These two have been bold attempts to focus on this largely unreported violation of child rights to live with safety and dignity. So it is a world of culpability, guilt and shame. It is also frightening and scary. But that does not mean that it can be avoided any longer. luckily, there are activists now who are making right noises and exhorting people to speak up against this abuse and the public watchdogs are more active than before. Adult citizens must realise the long-term consequences of silence upon the victims; it almost amounts to tacit acceptance of such horrendous violations. The false sense of family prestige must go in favour of welfare of the child. We cannot allow their innocence to be troubled by sexual predators, who truly deserve to be ostracised and severely punished.
The discussion may be summed up by quoting none other than Nelson Mandela, “Safety and security do not just happen, they are the result of collective consensus and public investment. We owe our children, the most vulnerable citizens in our society, a life free of violence and fear... there can be no keener revelation of a society’s soul than the way in which it treats its children’’.