Everyone says that one should not live in the past, one should always move on and stop living with the regrets or joys of the past which have gone forever from our lives. But is it that simpleIJ
Is the past last month’s or even yesterday’s newspaper which can be disposed off quite easily and forgotten all aboutIJ It is much more than that. It has built us, it has helped us evolve, grow up and learn lessons which have made our lives better in some ways. And yet we are told not to look back.
looking back is natural for any human being. Nostalgia is an emotion no person can deny having experienced at some time or the other in life. At one point of history, it was diagnosed as an illness, a homesickness. The term was coined in 1688 by Johannes Hofer. He introduced nostalgia or mal du pays (homesickness) for the condition also known as mal du Suisse (Swiss illness) or Schweizerheimweh (Swiss homesickness) because of its frequent occurrence in Swiss mercenaries who in the plains of lowlands of France or Italy were pining for their native mountain landscapes.
Symptoms were also thought to include fainting, high fever, indigestion, stomach pain and death. Military physicians hypothesised that the malady was due to damage to the victims’ brain cells and ear drums by the constant clanging of cowbells in the pastures of Switzerland! But the meaning of nostalgia has changed greatly since then.
In his introduction to Mussoorie and landour: Days of Wine and Roses, renowned author Ruskin Bond says “What is Nostalgia but an attempt to preserve that which was good in the pastIJ The past has served us well: let us serve it in this way.” Merriam-Webster’s dictionary describes nostalgia a wistful or excessively sentimental yearning for return to or of some past period or irrecoverable condition. It also describes it as a pleasure and sadness that is caused by remembering something from the past and wishing that you could experience it again.
Nostalgia can be painful and yet it can be cathartic, giving one the chance to get rid of emotional burdens by shedding some tears when recalling a person, place or situation that was very dear in the past. In his well-known ghazal in Urdu, Shayar Ahmed Faraaz writes “Ik umr se hun lazzat-e-giriya se bhi mehroom/aye raahat-e-jaan! Mujhko rulaane ke liye aa/ranjish hi sahi/dil hi dukhaane ke liye aa” (The poet is ready to revisit the past so that he can have a good cry. He wants to experience the joy of weeping).
loved ones who are no longer physically present in our lives can only be remembered in this way. Is it really possible never to let our thoughts turn backwards and make us realise how they shaped our life, how they made it so precious. I think constantly about my father who guided me at every step in life with his wisdom and love. Sometimes I listened to him; at others I did not.
Today, years after he passed away, I realise how much he was concerned about my welfare; how he wanted to protect me from the vagaries of this world and how much he feared that I would suffer due to my being stubborn about certain things.
Now that he is not here with me, I always try to go back to the past and recall his wonderful words, trying to implement them in my present situations and decisions. I simply have to look back! Those moments are not merely my past; they are deeply lodged in my heart and soul.
If we never look back, we will be deprived of important parts of ourselves, our inner lives. Just to stay away from the pain that nostalgia brings, we cannot let go of the past totally. The bittersweet joy that comes along with the pain cannot be missed by us. It can inspire us to create beautiful things — a painting, a poem, a novel or a piece of enchanting music. Such amazing romantic poetry has always emerged the world over from a nostalgic mood.
looking back at the bad moments gives us a feeling of relief that we have crossed those bridges in life and if more remain to be crossed, we can do it.
All I can say is that do not let the past place hurdles in your life. look back, we must.