We have all heard and read about the power of silence many times over in spite of which we find it so difficult to remain silent at the appropriate time and accrue allegations and enemies. This article goes on to find the causes and cures of this foot-in-the mouth disease.
Just to remind ourselves, it has been conveyed to us by religious scriptures via audio-video and print media that the moment we can control anyone of the five Indriyas or five senses as commonly called, we can gain control over the mind. The other senses also automatically come under control. The five senses are seeing, smelling, hearing, tasting and touching with the respective body parts being the eyes, nose, ear, tongue and skin. Everyone is trying to regulate his or her mind and bring highest concentration in work as well as in personal life so as to achieve goals in professional life and happiness in personal life. Mind is the master of the body and, therefore, to have a healthy body we must have a healthy mind. Many a time, we have heard people say that they lost a promotion to someone else in spite of putting in long hours because they couldn’t concentrate enough. Mind-related bodily diseases or psychosomatic ones are very common these days. When you go to a doctor for high blood pressure, heart problem or even diabetes, there is a high chance that you will come back with advice for Pranayam (breathing exercises), meditation and silence along with your medication.
Therefore, it is an established fact that silence is necessary for regulating the mind and leading to inner silence which is basically trying to make the thoughts still. Any moment there are hundreds of thoughts crossing our mind and this over-activity can create stress and its related problems on the mind and body. How do we get into this silence modeIJ Most advise Maun (maintaining silence) for a couple of hours a day. Some even advise maintaining Maun for one day in the week. It’s so difficult that we find ourselves writing on notes and still communicating with others. Silence means no communication with anyone. Avoid anything which can instil any new thoughts. If you are in the house, you can go about doing your usual chores without disturbing anyone. Do anything that you regularly do, say cooking, reading a paper, reading a book, gardening, just about anything which doesn’t involve communicating with anyone. Even you could listen to music and dance or sit and stare at nature, be it greenery, sky, sunset, etc. One can start with a minimum of an hour a week which can go to an hour a day and progress to a day a week. The thoughts need to stop to still the mind and give it rest. Initially, this will not happen. Please do not make any effort to stop thinking. Rather, watch the thoughts as an independent observer. If you do so, over the days you will find them decreasing and then disappearing. You will be in a state of silence and meditation while doing your daily chores. There is also no need to repeat any mantra or chants. However, there should be no communication with anyone by staring or making signs. We have found it difficult because of too many preconditions. This pattern hardly has any strictures and, therefore, is an easy way to outer silence and finally to inner silence. Inner silence is when the thoughts stop. It’s not only ascetics who can reach this state; anyone can benefit from this practice. As we move towards inner silence, we will find stress and diseases disappearing. Our communication with others will be much more refined as this sense is getting refined too.
We see that conflicts arise from inappropriate communication. We think and speak at the same time and the moment the other person says something we answer without consulting our mind about what we should say. In fact, nowadays it’s not about what you want to say; it’s about what answer the other person wants to hear. If you don’t provide that answer, communication cannot continue. We make mistakes here without purpose and realisation because we don’t have enough control over this sense organ, ie, the tongue. It is said that the tongue can be man’s greatest enemy. The words once spoken like arrows shot, cannot be taken back. The practice of Maun will help us maintain this speed between the brain activity and what is said and also to give the most suitable answer. There is hardly any seconds’ gap between these two activities; so it’s crucial. It’s never too late to adopt silence and benefit from this age-old custom.
The Britishers in the 19th century were seen smoking cigars and were known for not answering anything before taking a couple of puffs. Was it considered stylishIJ In a way, yes, but the real aim was to pause and think before answering. In today’s modern day world, the need of a pause is very important. Not everyone can think at a high speed before answering. Sometimes, a sip of tea or coffee, bite of snack, a puff of cigarette help build in these necessary pauses in a conversation or get together. It’s a subtle way of having peaceful interaction.
So, we must take care that these fillers are around us when we talk to people. In office, this may not be possible. Even then people take pauses, extend the issue and take time to think. Sometimes, it’s better to say honestly that you need time to think and take a break, especially when there are deadlocks. Another important way to have effective conversation is to find out what the other person wants to hear rather than loading your views on him. No one accepts anything until it is something which suits him. Pauses help us think and find out what is suitable for the other person. Then, communication becomes smooth. Maintaining outer silence also enables us to know when to have a pause and when to take a break as there is better synchronisation between the mind and speech. Its never too late to start and become a happier person!