We come across groups everywhere. When there are just two persons, we call them as a pair or couple, but when there are more than two and any number up to thirty, we may classify it as a group. In this article, we are referring to informal groups where there are no official posts for anyone. Regarding family as a group, it’s unto us how we define family. Some people who don’t have much contact with relatives may refer to the nuclear family whereas others may refer to the extended family. Of course, there are larger numbers which we find in office or other non-personal areas like a club, apartment building members, neighbourhood, etc. Usually, we find groups within larger groups exceeding thirty in number. These numbers specified are approximate.
While speaking with friends, we hear about how someone in office is misbehaving or how someone in the family has cheated him and yet another person is trying to break up his family. This friend has realised late in life about the true characters of his associates. I met a person who was a sharp and dynamic person who could study the nature of people at office but could not apply the same for his extended family. He was forever upset about how much he had done for his relatives and how they betrayed him again and again. He approached a spiritual counsellor who told him that he had ‘betrayal karma’ which would last a lifetime. The simple fact was that he had never tried to analyse the group dynamics of his family and had he done so many issues would have been sorted out.
Why is analysis importantIJ
Whether we like it or not, we have to be part of a group and work as a team. So firstly, we should know about who is who and then study the interactions between them and with us and then deal accordingly. This is necessary at the workplace as well as at home and also in social circles. Some members given the opportunity can break up the groups at home and elsewhere.
Every group, more or less comprises the following people. If you ask me why, I can share with you that nature has designed it that way. We should not be surprised when we find any of them in our own groups.
leaders or Opinion Makers, Followers, loyalists, Betrayers, Fence Sitters, Separatists, Thieves, Rumour Mongers, Indifferent, Generally Good, Generally Bad
leaders or Opinion Makers
If observed closely, there would be one or more people who are dominating and steer the group in a particular direction. If they are truly looking after the interest of the group then it is wise to let them continue. If not then it is necessary to slowly reduce their dominance and importance and replace by others. Nothing should be done formally and always without letting them know. It should be slow transition with the help of some other members who can maintain confidentiality. We have to keep in mind that all these terminologies are not formally given to them. The effort should be to see that all members get to air their views and by rotation in an informal manner. Sometimes in extended families, we see that the mother-in-law’s sister becomes the leader and imposes her opinion on others. The motive may be to create problems within the family and amass property in an immoral fashion. It’s always good to have one or two leaders and many followers.
Followers
Mostly, we find a large number of followers and some could be ‘yes men’ who just agree to any decision without analysing or taking up any responsibility. The leaders have to ensure that proper information flows exist among everyone and the followers are made responsible. Some people shirk responsibility and prefer to be escapists. But followers play a very important role when it comes to implementing anything positive.
loyalists, Betrayers and Fence Sitters
Its good to have loyalists as they will remain with you through hale and storm. Betrayers are just there to take advantage and then walk out without any shame. Not only that, they will bad mouth you in public and again join some other group to gain some advantage. They have to be spotted and removed as early as possible. It’s a very difficult task as they will pretend to be loyalists and behave like sycophants and do everything to please you. They are fair weather friends.
Fence sitters are still worse because they share information with opposing groups and can never be relied on. Depending on the situation, fence sitters move from group to group. Its good to minimize the number of fence sitters. There is a difference between fence sitters and betrayers. Betrayers don’t leave a group so easily until they have taken the maximum benefit whereas fence sitters are an insecure lot and at any moment can leave a group. Besides the betrayers may invest or do some work for the group so as to appear as loyalists but the fence sitters don’t. Its important to to identify such people and make efforts to remove them early.
Separatists, Thieves, Rumour Mongers:
The main objective of separatists is to create anarchy and disorder among the members and ultimately break up the group. Its not that they want leadership or anything, but its just in their nature to do so. They get a sadistic happiness from such activities. Don’t be surprised if you come across a dishonest person or a direct thief in the group. They exist across classes and across gender. There could be kleptomaniacs too. If they are harmless and not at large and contribute otherwise, we can still retain them and keep a careful watch.
Rumour mongers can be used for gathering information about members or outsiders and made into an effective grapevine after filtration, but if they are dangerous for the survival of the group then they have to be kept under watch.
Indifferent, Generally Good, Generally Bad
Finally, we can also categorise into indifferent, good and bad. It is necessary to have indifferent and follower members as we can convert them into useful members by giving them responsibility and praising them at get-togethers, etc. We also have to observe the members who are generally bad and try to identify why they are called bad and try to see how we can change their attitude towards the group.
It’s great if we have a high component of good members, or we can attempt to convert the indifferent ones into becoming good and responsible members.
(The writer, a freelancer, is a futurologist and imparting spiritual guidance to young professionals. E-mail: sikta_pati@rediffmail.com)