Bad Vs good: Many a time, we come out of a cinema hall with tears in our eyes thinking about the poor family and usually the lady actor who spends her entire life sacrificing for the family. She is the one who is dressed in traditional outfits like a crumpled saree and with braids in her hair. Most of the time, she is a beautiful widowed lady who has fallen victim to the rich man’s exploits and has to fight for survival of her minor children. She brings up her family with strict morals and good education. She leads a life of struggle and ultimately becomes the heroine of the show. Same is the case with Indian literature. I will stress more on the literature of the eastern region about which I know.
On the other hand, the rich lady is one with short hair, wears Western dresses, attends clubs, completely immoral and may be taken to drinking or smoking. She is one who is self-centred and pleasure-loving. She can drive and own a number of cars and travels frequently to foreign locations. She also mixes freely with members of the opposite sex and doesn’t care for the feelings of her parents.
The main factor on which they both differ is the sacrificing nature. In scriptural terms, one is a yogi (someone who follows austerities) whereas the other is a Bhogi (pleasure-loving). However, ultimately, our poor lady or family (yogis) wins over the situation.
The women are supposed to struggle throughout life and gain recognition only towards the end of their life as if they were appearing in some examination. Interviewing some women I found that they felt guilty if they went for a movie with friends as they said they stole the time from that they were supposed to give to their family. Their entire lives revolved around their husbands and children. There was hardly any scope for individual aspirations.
I am reminded of our great epic the Mahabharata where too the Pandavas, a royal clan, had to go through a lot of austerities in order to uphold the good and pure whereas their cousins the Kauravas enjoyed their life to the hilt. Ultimately, the Pandavas attained liberation (Moksh) from the cycle of life and death and went to heaven whereas the Kauravas lost and went to hell. It is also said in the Geeta that God always supports the meek and poor, and people can realise God if they go through austerities. It is good to remain poor and needy so that we can remember God. Poor are also supposed to be a spiritual lot.
Rich have got rich by unfair means: It is also assumed that a person has acquired riches by unfair means and there is no honest way of making money. This paradigm is completely conditioned in the mind of the people. The other cause is fate and action of previous lives due to which he has become rich. Honesty and hard work are the copyrights of poor people.
Wrong conditioning: With due respect to our great writers and film producers, I must say they have been responsible for creating a kind of wrong conditioning in the minds of people, especially on the role of women in our society. I can’t really say whether they learnt about this phenomenon from the society or the society learnt from them. In an interview a couple of years back, Ekta Kapoor, the producer and pioneer of Saas Bahu serials was accused of spreading wrong messages in society and all that she showed in the serials was not true. Responding to that, she said it was just the opposite way around. She learnt from the things happening in society and sent the messages across through her serials. She also added that worse things were happening.
Good and Bad People: There is no truth in the paradigms mentioned in this. Rich people in spite of wearing Western dresses can be good and spiritual whereas the poor can be bad and immoral. There could be umpteen combinations. The time has also come when women should establish their individuality and identity. As some people say that who has seen heaven and hell and we have no idea where we will go after death. In order to go to heaven, we can’t keep sacrificing throughout life. Heaven and hell is in this life; so, we want to enjoy now. One lady in her sixties told me that she spent her entire life sacrificing for her family and did not have enough sarees to wear when she was young. Now, she had a lot of expensive sarees, but she did not have the same social life nor the youth to show off. She asked me how she would look in colourful saree at this age. Once the youth was gone, there was no looking back. She was full of frustrations on how she had wasted her life. Those relatives for whom she had made sacrifices were very well-settled now and did not need her now. They did not keep in touch with her. Of course, it is said in all religious scriptures that we should do charity without expectations (Niskaam Seva). But it should not be at the cost of cutting into what we deserve, minimum comforts that we require and neither can everyone do without expectations. At the end of life, we should not turn out to be a frustrated lot like the lady I met.
In the wake of a consumerist society, both the rich and the poor want to experience heaven while alive. Most of them adopt fair means, and a few may be using unfair means to satisfy their expectations. But we should not judge them by their clothes or way of living. Someone may be living the Western way and could be good and spiritual. On the other hand, someone could be completely traditional in terms of food and clothes, yet modern in their thinking. I would encourage the women who are projected to be ‘Mother India’ to lead a fulfilled life whether they are poor or rich.
(The writer, a freelancer, is a futurologist and imparting spiritual guidance to young professionals. E-mail: sikta_pati@rediffmail.com)