Over a year ago, he was Ratikant Pradhan, but now she is Aishwarya Rituparna Pradhan. She is a Commercial Tax Officer (CTO) working at Paradip. She experienced a humiliating journey to identify herself. Now, she has no need to hide her gender. Aishwarya belongs to Kanabagiri village under G Udaygiri block of Kandhamal district. After the Supreme Court’s decision recognising transgender as third gender, she filed an affidavit and changed her name from Ratikant Pradhan to Aishwarya Rituparna Pradhan. She has completed her Master’s degree in Public Administration from the Utkal University and a one-year PG diploma course in journalism from the Indian Institute of Mass Communication, Dhenkanal. She was working in the Syndicate Bank before joining the Odisha Finance Service. She talked to Sefali Suman about her life and struggle.
You were born a boy. When did you realise that you were different; what was your feeling at that point in timeIJ
When I was in high school, I realised that the only way for me to be comfortable was to be like a girl. I was immature at that time, could not understand the situation properly. I thought I was normal, but when my family members criticised me for my girlish behaviour, that hurt me a lot.
When did you behave differently; what was the reaction of your family membersIJ
When I started feeling that I belong to the third sex or not to the sex it seemed from my body, I started wearing women attire. Because, that was the attire I felt comfortable in. My parents scolded me. My father and brother used to treat me very badly. My father and brother were calling me Maichia (effeminate). As my father was a retired army personnel, he always asked me to be a man and behave like a man. But I was behaving like a girl. I started finding a woman in me. They used to beat me also. At that time I felt as if I had no security; it was a traumatic world. My mother and younger sister co-operated me. To some extent they understood me. I used to wear my sister’s clothes and use her cosmetics. Occasionally, I also used my mother’s gold ornaments. That was giving pleasure to me. I used to help my mother in household chores like cooking, washing and cleaning etc. That was also giving me joy.
How did your classmates and teachers behave with you in schoolIJ
My friends were teasing me in school. I was an introvert. One day our PET teacher came and asked, “Who is the Maichia in the classIJ” My classmates pointed out at me. Friends embarrassed me. I was also isolated by them. I was living a life with full of humiliation at that time.
Did these humiliations affect your mind and studiesIJ
My father had a question as to how I would lead my life with these girly attitude. That question had a bad impact on me. I was feeling insecure; still I wished to live my life in my own way. I was neglected by family members. When I was preparing for competitive exams, I was staying with a cousin brother in Bhubaneswar. He also harassed me mentally by teasing me. As I did not have money to live independently, I had to tolerate that. Crying and expecting a better life were the only options left for me.
How did your college friends behave with youIJ
Students of my college teased me. I was not comfortable with boys. When I was in Vanivihar hostel, I was also sexually assaulted by some students of the hostel. I had a horrible experience during my college days.
When and how did you meet other transgendersIJ
When I was preparing for competitive exams in Bhubaneswar, one day I met with Sadhana Mishra and Meera Parida at the Indira Gandhi Park. We exchanged our thoughts there. We had some common goals i.e, social service. Then I started working in a Community Based Organisation (CBO), the Sakha. In that CBO, I came across with other hijras.
Can you share your experiences about the behaviour of your colleagues and senior officers’ towards you at your workplaceIJ
My senior officers are very cooperative and supportive. They are giving respect to my identity. When I was working in the Syndicate Bank as a clerical staff, though other employees’ behavior was suffocating, but bank manager’s behavior was very good. He always encouraged me to go ahead, and live in my own way.
As a Government servant, you are dealing with public. What is the attitude of public towards you in officeIJ
Some advocates said that they were apprehending bad indications from me. They had also feared to meet me. Public was also not comfortable with me. But, with passage of time, after observing me and my work, they have become comfortable with me. Now, their behavior towards me is good.
Someone needs courage to wear women dress. When you dressed in ladies’ attires, what was the reaction of your near and dear ones, family and relatives, even people around you at workplaceIJ
In my childhood, my family members tried a lot to change my passion to be like a girl. But I did not change myself. Slowly they also changed and got acquainted with me. My relatives did not accept all these. But now, the circumstances are changing. My sister is using my cosmetics. My cousin sisters and neighbours are also using my cosmetics. I am getting self-satisfaction with ladies attires and makeup.
Are you going for Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS)IJ
Yes, my treatment is under process now. It would be completed soon. Is it necessary to wear women’s dress when women also sometimes prefer to wear gents’ dress or gender neutral dressIJ Why should you go for SRS and become a womanIJ It’s painful… With regard to dress everybody has his/her choice. I like to wear women’s dress. I would also like to establish my identity; I am a woman in a male’s body and I want to come out of that body. I shall get self satisfaction.
What is your future planIJ
I will go in for marriage. I am searching a guy who can understand me and respect my identity. I would also adopt a child. I will take care of studies of my brother’s children. If possible, I will open a shelter home for the hijras.