Just being alive means that you make thousands of small choices every day, and those small choices add up to make a major impact on your life. As for the bigger choices, usually you do have the power to take control of the ones that are really important.Being able to check even on minor things off a list each afternoon will improve your self-esteem and increase your internal locus of control.Work on the skill of listing and evaluating the pros and cons of each option and coming to a conclusion on your own rather than relying on the opinions of others.Consider how children are raised. The conservative culture wants to raise its children and adopt traditional views. A liberal culture wants children to be raised in a way that allows them to reflect on, evaluate and choose their views so they become autonomous. If the conservative culture is tolerated, then people raised within that culture may not be as autonomous as they would be if the culture was not tolerated.
On the other hand, being part of a conservative culture can be an expression of autonomy, an expression of living life as one thinks it should be lived. Not to tolerate the culture would mean this conservative way of living was no longer available in society. But the arguments from autonomy and fallibility mean that a liberal society should not undermine other ways of living. If a liberal society could only tolerate cultures that accept liberal values, how would this be tolerance at allIJHowever, there will be practical limits to the nature of the tolerance extended to the culture. The beliefs and values of the culture can be tolerated without contradiction. However, since the society is liberal, individuals will have certain rights that protect them against harm. If the culture's practices violate those rights, e.g. by using force against members of the community, then a liberal society cannot tolerate those practices.
Describing certain beliefs and values as intolerant has, historically, often been the result of intolerance, misunderstanding and prejudice. If every attempt to draw a line between what can be tolerated and what cannot is an act of intolerance, then tolerance ends before it begins. Defining the limits of tolerance is an expression of intolerance. This argument rests on confusion between two meanings of 'intolerant'. Views which are intolerant deny that tolerance is valuable. The attempt to draw a distinction between these views and others is not intolerant in this sense. To argue that intolerant views cannot be tolerated is not to deny that tolerance is valuable.
Do you set very high standards for yourself, and have a strong sense of 'right and wrong'IJ Do you constantly strive for 'perfection'IJ Do you berate yourself and feel bad if you make mistakes, or fall shortIJ Do you sometimes worry that people will see through you and you must never relax or let your guard downIJ Is it very important to you to know that you are 'right'IJSuch harsh attitudes to oneself, often rooted in childhood, or developed in response to social pressures, can generate uncomfortable feelings of insecurity and doubts about one's self worth. Intolerance - refusing to accept or allow for the fallibility and difference of other people - can feel like a protecting shield. By insisting that others must meet your standards, you avoid having to face your own fallibility and weakness.
While intolerant attitudes appear to promise you safety from error and failure, this protection has a heavy cost. At the physical level, rigid attitudes and the effort it takes to maintain them without slippage drain your energy, raise blood pressure, trigger frequent adrenaline surges and stressful episodes of anger and frustration. Over time, such raised stress levels can cause severe harm to your health.Intolerance can also make life difficult in your relationships with family, friends, and colleagues. If you take great care never to mingle with anyone who thinks differently from you, you may not have too many difficulties. But if, like most people, you have to mix with a range of people, you may experience a great deal of unpleasant friction - and even rejection
And rigid intolerant attitudes don't actually protect you from anything, anyway. We all fall into error and get things wrong sometimes, because we are human. We all need tolerance from other people sometimes for our own failings and differences. We are all unique individuals, and what is 'right' for someone else is not necessarily right for us.learning to relax and be more forgiving of yourself and others has immediate benefits. Stress levels go down, and energy levels rise. It feels good not to worry all the time about being 'caught out' - for who is surprised if a human being sometimes makes mistakesIJ And it's so much easier to get along with other people when you can let them be themselves and know that you can be yourself too.live and let live is a wise response to things that are morally neutral, that harm no one. It is particularly estimable to people with diverse ways of life. Here tolerance is a call for civility, for humility, an injunction not to be a hick. The world is a big place, and not everyone does things our way. Not everyone likes burgers and fries.
We tolerate downward, to our inferiors in class, in customs, in taste. We put up with - tolerate - our neighbors even though they are wrong about everything: their ideas, their values, their inadequate lawn care. But we do not burn their house down, and that's no small thing.Being more tolerant offers you a powerful and effective way to begin the transformation you desire. You will find that the level of relaxation you are able to experience dramatically increases as you put aside the need to be on guard all the time. You will gain new understanding of what has influenced you in the past and how your life can change in the future as you become more tolerant.