Karan Behl, director of ThinkTap, tells you that while intelligence quotient is important, what is even more necessary is development of an emotional quotient
To be concerned about one’s child is natural. To wish for his or her growth and success even more so. However, the best of us can’t absolve ourselves from the sin of over stressing our children academically. We have been guilty of putting ‘marks’ over everything else in life for them. Games, friends, relationships, every virtue taught by the human society is overruled by these ‘marks’. This has resulted is the new insensitive, hyper active, insecure breed of academically superior but emotionally stunned youngsters roaming about our streets.
This is where Emotional Quotient (EQ) or emotional intelligence as it is generally known comes into picture. What does EQ really mean thoughIJ It means a person’s ability to understand other people, to know what motivates them and how best to cooperate with them. In other words, it is your people’s skill.
Now take a moment and take a stock of all the brilliant yet unsuccessful people you know in life. People whom everybody thought were going to make it big but might not be doing great. Once you have done that, try and make a list of all the average yet highly successful people you know. They might not have been the brightest mind in your class, but ones with a pleasant personality whom nearly everyone got along well with.
You will clearly see a major difference between these two groups. People who only focus on their academics; not very interesting group. Generally have limited topics to talk about, are not great with understanding people and their reactions, have difficulty emoting their inner feelings and lack self-awareness in good measure.
People who focus on their EQ on the other hand know how to handle people and their emotions. They are self-aware, have high self-esteem and hence quite in tune with their own feelings and have better control over their reactions.
They understand the subtleties of human nature and can survive well in a group or a team. Recent research has revealed that while a child’s intelligence quotient (IQ) only accounts for 20 per cent of her/his success, the emotional skills also known as EQ contributes 80 per cent. Yet, while parents invest in the best of education for increasing their IQ levels, children are left to develop their EQ on their own.
As most of us have to work with people and live in a society and not a cave, it becomes imperative to focus on EQ. A lot of times, educators and parents make the mistake of assuming that a child will develop his EQ ‘along the way’ or is born with it. However, in practice many children never develop those crucial skills.
“It’s like saying that a child doesn’t need to study English because she talks with her parents at home,” “Emotional skills are the same. A teacher might say, ‘Calm down!’ But how exactly do you calm down when you’re feeling anxiousIJ Where do you learn the skills to manage those feelingsIJ”
The best thing is EQ can be learnt and developed. It is absolutely possible to teach a child to be more sensitive. To teach him or her right way to handle stress, frustration and negative emotions. To help children become collaborative and cooperative individuals.
There are schools and institutions already doing this. In fact research shows that performance of children in schools that implement EQ programs go up by 50 per cent. K-12 students who received emotional intelligence training scored an average of 11 per cent more on standardized achievement tests. Children who develop EQ skills are more likely to do well at work, have longer marriages and suffer less from depression and anxiety.
Hence, it becomes important to improve the EQ of children not just from their performance and growth point of view, but also from the perspective to make this world a better place to live in.