The Buddha's teachings on loving-kindness resonate with contemporary psychology
Love is a word that has been defined by numerous intellectuals and philosophers, especially in the West. If you delve into novels, you'll discover that each novel provides a unique definition of love. It seems like we've never seen this multifaceted side of love; it is an exceptionally subjective topic and can be quite disturbing for meditation and mindfulness. While one may think about figures like Mira and other Saints, it's crucial to differentiate between love and bhakti—these should not be treated as synonyms.
Bhakti begins with faith, sacrifice, renunciation, and devotion. It is a path that leads away from worldly matters and transcends them. On the other hand, love is akin to holding onto something tightly, and having a desire to possess it. The Buddha himself stated that love is a cause of suffering and fear, as it makes it challenging to understand the impermanent nature of the world. This is why Buddhism advocates for loving-kindness, which is neither love nor bhakti—it is the middle way. Loving-kindness is comparable to a tree; it provides shade for wanderers but doesn't expect them to stay or leave. It operates without expectations, simply doing what needs to be done.
In the "Karniya Metta Sutta" (Loving-kindness Discourse), the Buddha provides a beautiful quote: "Just as a mother loves her only son, you should also be kind to everyone in this world." Examining this statement carefully reveals that a mother can wholeheartedly love her own son, not others' sons. However, Buddha encourages drawing inspiration from this and applying it universally to all of humankind, urging against limiting one's compassion as a mother does only for her son.
In Buddhist psychology, loving-kindness possesses the characteristic of "Appamaa," meaning limitless or beyond limits. It offers freedom from aversion-filled thoughts and serves as a beneficial subject for meditation. During meditation, where negative thoughts often arise, especially those filled with aversion, loving-kindness meditation can be a tool to overcome them. It focuses on cultivating goodwill and warm feelings towards others, such as wishing for their happiness or success.
The Buddha, in his teachings, eloquently outlined the 11 profound benefits of practising loving-kindness. Embracing this virtue promises not only a serene mind but also tangible improvements in one's life. From experiencing peaceful sleep and waking easily to fostering love from others, including both people and animals, the ripple effects extend to protection from external dangers, radiant countenance, and a serene mind. The culmination of such a compassionate life is envisioned in a peaceful death and a subsequent rebirth in joyous realms—a testament to the transformative power of cultivating loving-kindness in every facet of existence. Engaging in the practice of loving-kindness, as endorsed by modern psychology, yields a myriad of benefits for individuals. This intentional cultivation of positive emotions not only diminishes negative emotions but also amplifies vagal tone, fostering a sense of positive emotions and interconnectedness with others. Additionally, the practice has been associated with a reduction in migraines, chronic pain, PTSD, and schizophrenia-spectrum disorders. Notably, it activates empathy and emotional processing in the brain, leading to an increase in grey matter volume and respiratory sinus arrhythmia (RSA), thereby contributing to a slowing of biological ageing. Beyond these physiological effects, the practice of loving-kindness also has interpersonal implications, making individuals more helpful, compassionate, and empathetic. It plays a pivotal role in diminishing biases towards others, enhancing social connections, and curbing self-criticism, creating a holistic approach to psychological well-being. In essence, the exploration of love across various philosophies reveals its intricate nature.
(The writer is a Buddhist monk; views are personal)