By making a distinction between the sin and the sinner, we can let people change and overcome their weaknesses, says Rajyogi Brahmakumar Nikunj
Since our childhood we have been taught to be polite and be nice to others. Such behaviour, we are told, is the mark of civilisation. In a way its important, because you get what you give, and if we want others to be nice to us, our behaviour towards them should be similar. But if our so-called nice behaviour is superficial, as a mask over not so nice feelings, it will not win us any goodwill in return because the law of karma operates even at the most subtle level, which says “as you sow, so shall you reap”. Hence it is very important to have genuinely good feelings towards others because when our feelings are pure, good wishes and nice behaviour comes naturally.
But the biggest challenge is to have pure feelings in today’s world where relationships are based on give and take criteria. It might sound tough, but we can easily experience such feelings at our homes itself. It is from our mothers, who always keep pure feelings and selfless affection towards their children irrespective of whether or not the child reciprocates to her feelings in same manner.
We have a tendency to have pure feelings and love towards our near and dear ones simply because we love them. But what about those outside the circle of our family and friendsIJ Our feelings towards them keep changing according to how we perceive them. It is not that anyone is inherently bad. Its actually our perception that makes us react differently when the same mistake is made by a loved one and by someone else. To one we show sympathy and understanding, and to the other we may show irritation and anger or even spite. We are very quick to affix negative labels to others like selfish, lazy, stupid, egoistic etc. And whenever we see that person, or even think of her/him, the first thing that comes to our mind, consciously or unconsciously, is the label that we have assigned them. But with a little positive effort, we can try to be nice even to those people who consistently do mistakes or irritate us. The easiest way to do this is to make a distinction between the sin and the sinner. There is a popular adage which says ‘Hate the sin, not the sinner’. The mistake that we make is that instead of being merciful, we immediately judge the person by his mistake and condemn him in our mind. We must not let the sin enter our heart and change our feelings towards the sinner. The right way is to keep in mind that the person is succumbing to some inner weakness or character flaw and mercifully help him overcome that flaw. Hence if we make a habit to look at every person with mercy, not only will our feelings towards all would remain pure, but we would also be able to help weak souls, who are rejected by all, to overcome their weaknesses and transform their lives.