Actor Nandita Das and lawyer Vandana Shah spoke about how women have gained a sense of confidence over the years and laws like the Domestic Violence Act, 2005 have changed the way women are perceived now. By Shrabasti Mallik
There isn’t a thing in the world that a woman cannot do, if she puts her heart to it. Their level of endurance is unfathomable and so is their determination. But even in the 21st century we hear stories of violence, atrocity and injustice meted out against them. While a few of them choose to stay quiet and let the oppression continue, with every passing moment women are becoming vocal, confident and are showing the world that they can take a stand.
“There has been a major shift in the society, especially in the manner how women are finding courage to speak up for themselves. A decade ago, the situation was completely different,” said Urvashi Butalia, at a discussion titled Women and Society at the first DGC literature and Ideas Festival. The two speakers at the event, actor and director Nandita Das, and lawyer and social entrepreneur Vandana Shah shared stories about their lives and how they have seen women change over the years, and how much more society needs to evolve with them.
At the moment Shah is a well acclaimed divorce lawyer, but why she studied law is a different story altogether. “Only an hungry man knows hunger and that is the story of me becoming a divorce lawyer. I was asked to leave my husband’s house with only a handful of money in my pocket. I could have chosen to go back and silently take my place at the receiving end of an abusive marriage. But I had had enough, with my pride intact, I chose to walk away. I restarted my life 15 years ago when I was served a divorce petition and did not have the money to pay for a lawyer. After that I decided that enough was enough so I went from being a litigant to a counselor to finally becoming a divorce lawyer. I learnt on the job because my divorce took a decade to come through and by that time I had already earned a degree and regained my self confidence,” she shared.
Das, on the other hand, grew up in a family where her father was a painter and mother, a writer. “At home, my mother went to a nine to five job and my father cooked and cleaned, and I thought that he painted for recreational purposes,” she said and added that she realised only later that this role reversal that she had experienced throughout her childhood was not the norm, across households in India.
“There was no partiality between my brother and me, I did not suffer from any instance of gender discrimination but as I was growing up, I could see it all around me. I feel that I am a champion of adopting multiple identities, courtesy my profession. I believe that we all have these various identities and that one identity does not really have to be trusted on us. Especially your given identity whether it’s your gender, your religion or country — there is nothing to be proud or ashamed of. Yet the thought that keeps coming back to me is that why does my identity as a woman affect my workIJ It’s always been instinctive. My gender has never actually been a conscious choice. Why does that identity take precedence over all of my other personality traitsIJ” she questioned.
She shared that her journey in the direction of understanding the situation started with street theatre, with Safdar Hashmi. The first play she did was on dowry and she recalled, “We staged it in the slums and we had these orange and yellow ribbons to depict fire. I was the dowry victim there, and at the end of the play, people came to me and literally touched me to make sure I was fine. I had to tell them that it was a play and that the flames were made with ribbons. For me it was a play, a small little part, but for them it was their way of life. That’s when it struck me that I could no longer stay in my own bubble.”
It was after she completed her masters in social work that she realised that patriarchy and sexism exist in every little thing around us. She even did a play called Between the lines which was largely about battling her own dilemma of being a working woman in today’s turbulent times.
“We should not be asked whether we would work after marriage or after our baby is born. That should be essentially our choice. But the point is that we are being asked. It is as much our problem as it is for the underprivileged. I think it has been the narrative of my life and work. For us, in the profession of acting, life and work are no separate things because they constantly intersect and merge,” she elaborated.
However, they all agreed to the fact that there has been a shift in the way women are perceived, treated and seen in the society today. Shah pointed out that two new laws – 498A (dowry prohibition act) and the Domestic Violence Act, 2005 — have strengthened women immeasurably. “They empower women to have a voice and take a stand and say ‘you cannot kick us around’. Men do not mistreat women as easily as they used to in the past, because of these laws. I am a big believer in the law and the changes it can bring about in society. It has changed the landscape we are in because women have found an ally in the judiciary system,” she said.