If failures are due to outside forces, success too has others’ help, says AJIT KUMAR BISHNOI
The Bhagavad Gita has specifically warned us about this fact. lord Krishna goes to the extent of stating that anyone, who on account of immature intelligence, thinks of himself as the only doer, he is foolish; he does not understand. (18.16) Mostly this mistake is made by people smitten with ego, which causes them to have exaggerated sense of their value and importance.
One of the cardinal mistakes they do is to look for reasons outside of them for any failure suffered, and credit themselves entirely for any success achieved. Is it logically possible to achieve any success without the contribution of many, if we remember that in order just to exist, we need help of so many on a daily basis. Similarly, if some setback has been suffered by anyone, the primary cause has to be that person; others could have contributed also. If we look for faults in others, how are we going to reform themIJ Don’t they have free willIJ Will it not be practical to introspect and see where we have gone wrong and rectify that mistake, if possible, and also remember not to repeat that in future.
The feeling of being the only doer hurts in more ways than one. Surely, it puts off others, who are associated with us. Who will enjoy working with such people. Does everyone not expect attention and appreciationIJ This is intrinsic to the human nature. Not only that, such people have strained family relationships for the same reason. In case of family members, they expect love and affection, not being ignored in success and criticised in failure. If such an attitude is taken too far, enmity is created with dire consequences.
With this flaw, one will not get cooperation from others. People like to assist those who are thankful for the favours done. Being thanked or spoken in glowing terms is sometimes more valuable than even cash rewards. People with this fault are likely to get frustrated repeatedly and will meet failures also, bereft of contribution from willing persons. The feeling of being the only doer is a sure recipe if getting overstressed. If you want the entire credit, then, you must exert by yourself also. Not only that, one is a fit candidate for getting frustrated repeatedly and will fail also more without active help from others. One will face embarrassment. One may even suffer from mental problems. Surely, one is unlikely to reach one’s potential. And one tries to predetermine results and will suffer disappointment.
How, then, does one get rid of this false feelingIJ The first mantra is to realise that we are all very limited in what we can do; we invariably need assistance from others. No one, ie no one can accomplish anything substantial without active help from others. Developing a sense of humility will help greatly, because this counters the feeling of being the only doer. Even better is to develop a habit of serving/helping others. Becoming aware of all the harm one does to self by having the feeling of being the only doer will also help greatly.
Studying scriptures like the Gita will help. In the verse #18.14 of this book of eternal wisdom, one learns that there are not one but five causes for any action to be accomplished. Then, one must have a strong desire to be rid of this false notion. Embracing the mode of goodness — the highest of the three modes by undertaking purification of all acts done by the body, mind and words will help immensely. Have faith in higher divine authorities, who oversee all that we do. And surrendering to God will be the clincher. So what is the conclusionIJ That we are better off without this false feeling.
Bishnoi is a spiritual writer and can be reached at spiritual@ajitbishnoi.com