Why Sympathy and Compassion Are Worlds Apart

Children, once a disciple asked his Guru, “What is the difference between compassion and sympathy?” Instead of answering in words, the Guru took him to a nearby street and asked him to watch a beggar seated by the roadside.

After a while, a poor old woman passing by saw the beggar and dropped a coin into his bowl. A few minutes later a wealthy man came and gave him fifty rupees. Then a little girl wandered along that way. She looked at the beggar, smiled at him with great warmth, went up close, and spoke with him for a little while as one might speak with an elder brother. The beggar’s face lit up with happiness.

The Guru turned to the disciple and asked, “Of these three, who truly showed compassion?” The disciple said, “The wealthy man, surely.” The Guru smiled and said, “No. That rich man felt not the slightest sympathy for the beggar; his one wish was that others should see his generosity. What the old woman felt was mere sympathy. She did not see the beggar as her own, nor truly long to lift him out of his want. But the child carried a sincere wish to comfort him. She treated the beggar as though he were her very own family. Though she could give him nothing of worth, there was a true meeting of hearts. What the little girl showed is real compassion.”

On the surface, sympathy and compassion look alike, but examined closely they are worlds apart. Sympathy is a passing ripple that crosses the mind when we see another’s sorrow; it does not touch us deeply or move us greatly. To quiet our own discomfort, we offer a small help or a kind word, and then we are at ease and we move on.

Compassion is something else entirely. It is to feel another’s sorrow as one’s own. There, the two are no longer two. When the left hand is hurt, the right hand reaches at once to soothe it. This is not out of duty, but because both belong to the same body. The left hand’s pain is also the right hand’s pain.

What the world needs today is not fleeting sympathy, but compassion that wells up from the depths of the heart. Such compassion arises only in a mind that takes the joys and sorrows of others as its own. Wherever it manifests, love and the readiness to serve are always present.

We should make the most of the opportunities we have been given to make this human birth truly meaningful. This happens when we are guided by a higher ideal. Let us keep the flame of compassion alive in our heart. Otherwise, our life itself will become dark. Words and actions born of compassion will outlive death itself. We should be able to live the maxim: “One for all, and all for one.”

God is love and compassion towards the suffering. If one has such a heart, there is no need to pray to God. When there is love and peace within us, it will spread to others as well. Then the atmosphere itself will become filled with happiness. For the wars that drag on without end, for the conflicts and the hunger in so many corners of the Earth, the only true remedy is the compassion that rises from the human heart.

Sri Mata Amritanandamayi Devi, known simply as Amma, is a spiritual master and humanitarian who has given her darshan in the form of a motherly embrace to more than 4 crore people. Listening to the cries of the suffering, Amma leads the Mata Amritanandamayi Math, an NGO that reaches across more than 50 countries, working in healthcare, disaster relief, education, gender equality, and environmental restoration; Views presented are personal.