Question: Namaskaram, Sadhguru. The last few years have been very intense for me, as my husband has been battling with cancer patient, and we’ve been facing financial troubles. I’m trying to manage our life situation as best as I can, but it’s a struggle. How can I create a happy environment for my husband and child amidst all this?
Awakening to the Reality of Life and Death
Sadhguru: Anyone of us could get hit by a bus tomorrow morning - there is no guarantee that it will or will not happen. This is the nature of life. I do not mean to trivialize your struggles, but it is a reality. It is happening to millions of people. One thing is, those who do not have to face such situations in their lives should be eternally grateful that they are still sitting here and doing all right. This is not a small thing. But when we are well, we are callous; we do not value life.
These situations must be taken care of. You cannot make anyone else happy unless you know how to make yourself happy. This may sound cruel to you, but you must listen carefully, because I am not here to solace you. Solace will only last for a few minutes. You must find a solution. Every one of us will get to this place, one way or the other; the only question is at what stage of life it will occur.
I recently had a conversation with a prominent doctor, whose 86-year-old father had just passed away. He said, “It happened just too suddenly.” I said, “Doctor, my blessing to everyone is that death happens suddenly to us. I don’t want to be in a hospital for two years before I die. I want to die suddenly, and I bless you to also die suddenly.” Then he laughed. I said, “See, this is all that’s needed.” We must understand what a blessing truly is.
You cannot make anyone else happy unless you know how to make yourself happy.
When someone gets a serious ailment, it is not a joke; it is not something that can be explained away with philosophy. When ailments occur, there is pain and struggle, not only for the person affected by it but also for those around them. If we look at how Gautama Buddha went in search of truth, he saw an old man, a sick man, and a dead body, and he left his young wife and infant child to go away in search of truth. How many do we need to see before we wake up?
When these things happen in our homes, on one level, there is enormous struggle. But on another level, it is a clear, first-hand view of what life can do. This has always been part of India’s spiritual process. But I did not know any spiritual process when I first went and sat in the cremation grounds. Everyone was talking about ghosts and things like that, and I wanted to see them. For months on end, I went and sat there. All I got to do was tend to the dead - no ghost appeared.
Life Lessons in a Hospital’s Casualty Ward
Essentially, we all want to know the nature of life - either consciously or unconsciously. This longing is there in everyone. Life is dancing in front of us in so many ways - sometimes it is pleasant; sometimes it is unpleasant; sometimes it is a joyful; sometimes it is painful.
In my youth, I used to volunteer in the casualty ward of a hospital and helped accident victims who were brought in. Initially, out of five who came in, three died and two survived. The deaths were largely due to a lack of blood at that time. Moreover, when the accident victims came in, there was no doctor to attend to them. It would take another 20, 30 minutes for them to come. By that time, these people die in your hands.
I then compiled a list with names, phone numbers, and blood groups of about 700 or 800 potential blood donors who we could call upon if needed. At that time, this was a better solution than creating a blood bank, for various reasons. The stark reality of hospital situations, especially in the orthopedic and general wards of government hospitals, is something that everyone should witness.
Essentially, we all want to know the nature of life - either consciously or unconsciously.
At the end of the third Isha Yoga program I conducted, I took the participants on a picnic, but first I took them to the general hospital. To enjoy the picnic, you must know what pain life can bring. To sit here and value your breath, you must know how many people are suffering, unable to breathe. We saw that, especially during the pandemic time. Considering how pleasantly we can breathe, we should not have a single complaint in our lives.
So, I got permission from the doctors and took the participants through the orthopedic ward. I said, “Just watch. This can happen to any of us. Most of us ride motorcycles, drive, or walk on the street. We simply do not know if tomorrow we might end up with a serious injury.”
It is not that we are wishing for something like this to happen. People for whom it happened did not wish for it either. But if we do not appreciate and take joy in the life process happening well, we might unknowingly be asking for something unfortunate to happen.
Understanding the Value of Being Well
So if someone in your home is unwell, the most important thing that you need to do is to keep yourself healthy, well, joyful, and exuberant. We all know that such a disease can have different outcomes. But for you to do your best, you must be at your best. If you want to do the best for someone that you care for, it is important that you are at your best.
If you yourself are worried sick, you cannot do your best. In such a state, you may miss things that you could do, which should not happen. Whatever you can do must happen. There is no issue about the things that we cannot do.
If someone in your home is unwell, the most important thing that you need to do is to keep yourself healthy, well, joyful, and exuberant.
Right now, this situation has come in your life. People can reach out and help you too, but the most important thing is that you are at your best - physically, mentally, and emotionally. You must stay at your best - only then can you be of use to someone who has fallen ill and needs help now. And the individual who needs help could be any of us, anytime. Most people do not consider that they are going to get sick. When you were in your teens, you probably did not think you would have some kind of disease at some point. But it happens.
It is of utmost importance that we understand the value of being well, which is the greatest thing happening to us right now. Please, manifest that within yourself, because that is the only way you can do your best for someone who is ill right now.
Ranked amongst the fifty most influential people in India, Sadhguru is a yogi, mystic, visionary and bestselling author. Sadhguru has been conferred the “Padma Vibhushan” by the Government of India in 2017, one of the highest annual civilian awards, accorded for exceptional and distinguished service; Views presented are personal; Views presented are personal.