A couple going through serious emotional turmoil came asking one day: “Are we due for a marital separationIJ” I greeted them with a counter question: “If you were so sure that you guys cannot stand each other any longer, then what brought you hereIJ” “We both have full faith that we will get the right guidance is why we decided to consult you before taking the final call,” answered the couple in chorus.
Well, if you had to separate, you would have just done it. In the fit of your rage, the indwelling love for each other has taken a backseat, as it got clouded by seeming realities that have been driving you crazy. But the sprouts from deep seeds of love resident at the subconscious level have been involuntarily discouraging you from taking extreme steps. And so you are here, looking for a lead, which does not let you compromise with your individual egos either.
Truth of life, in case of ordinary mortals, is that when you are in a relationship, you usually expect from the other side to remain true to your scheme of things about life. And if it would be wanting, it becomes difficult for you to digest, which turns into fight. So, the fight between two is in a way a reflection of their love, which temporarily becomes a casualty. You don’t fight a stranger, because there is no love and so no expectation. And in a fit of rage, the sense of reason gets clouded. As a consequence, you get stuck to seeming realities so much that many good in the other side get ignored. And, mindlessly you go on charging each other, and make each other suffer.
Never forget that nobody is ever born perfect; each carries individual-specific limitations. It is therefore, simply illogical to expect perfection from anybody, and perfection by what standard anywayIJ Ordinarily, it is self-defined perception of an imperfect being. But again, it is the imperfection in us which calls for working towards attaining perfection. In this respect, the couple are supposed to help each other grow and evolve. This is one of the seven pledges taken by the couple during any Hindu marriage ceremony. We often forget this during the usual run of life. So, invoke the indwelling sense of love, the force of which will help you get over the past, bridge the divide, and offer you the ground for turning life into a beautiful experience.
It is pertinent to note here that the quality of marital experience one would have is primarily dependent on how the two engage each other in day-to-day life. And that is dependent on their habits and attitudes. Had you guys worked upon your weaknesses in time, probably you would not have invited the present emotional turmoil. “Better late than never,” goes the saying. So, identify, acknowledge and work upon your attitudes and I am sure, you will not come cribbing any more. let us now look at the astrological markers pointing to their frailties.
The first to note about the man is his Aries lagna. Its lord Mars, is conjunct Uranus, and also locked in adverse formation to both the Sun and Moon. That makes out an impulsive, temperamental, argumentative, and irritable character, for whom, ‘my way is the only way’, least bothered about the sensitivity and concerns of the other side. He will mindlessly jump into an action or fight without applying proper forethought. Second, Jupiter placed opposite Neptune brings in peculiar beliefs, distanced from ground realities. Third, Venus locked in adverse formation with Moon and Uranus, makes him moody and emotionally volatile. Finally, the Sun placed adverse to Saturn, makes him habitually find fault with others for everything that goes wrong.
Towards the lady’s side, the Sun placed adverse to Uranus, read together with Mars ill-disposed to Saturn, would imply being self-willed, tactless, rebellious, suspicious, revengeful, impatient, and intolerant. Mercury conjunct Mars, and placed adverse to Saturn implies, a restless, overcritical, and an irritable person, having a rigid one track mind. The Moon in Virgo together with headless Ketu makes her a perfectionist in terms of her own self-defined parameters, and also not aware of what she should expect from life. And if others do not prove to her expectations, she would become overcritical, and would not mind passing caustic remarks.
The good thing is that they listened to the counsel and seriously tried to work on themselves. And to the good luck of their only child, their relationship has considerably improved.
The writer is an astrologer, vastu consultant and spiritual counsellor. Write to him at G-5, Basement, Jungpura Extension, New Delhi 14 Tel: 9818037273/ 24310031 Email:pioneerqueries@bharatastro.com Website: www.bharatastro.com