Theatre personality and veteran actress, Dolly Thakore, wanted to put it all out there and give the message that everyone can become popular through her book. By Khushbu Kirti
We usually congratulate people on their recent achievements. But when I got the opportunity to talk to one of the most celebrated faces of the literary and theatrical world, Dolly Thakore, I congratulated her on the tremendous life that she had created for herself.
“Thanks, darling, why do you think I wrote about it”, came the immediate and witty response from the most charismatic voice I had heard.
Thakore has shown time and again that one could excel in all aspects of life, in whatever roles one wanted to undertake. For her, the list never ends — a newscaster, television host, a casting director, a theatre enthusiast, and so on. On asking her the reason for the dynamic shift in life, she answered, “Darling, nobody starts off life knowing that this is what they want in life. It just fell into my lap and I took advantage of whatever was being offered to me. I never stretched my hand for anything nor did I run after anything, but opportunities came my way and I used each of them to the best of my ability.”
Talking about her memoir Regrets, None, Thakore elaborated on the reason for putting it together, “I wrote it because I knew I had achieved so much. Now, people of my age know all about me and have journeyed with me but the younger generation doesn’t know much about it. I knew my life was interesting, so I wanted to give an insight as to what goes into a person’s life, to make them what they are, to render them confidence, security, the courage to continue with their life, no matter what. It’s human nature to suffer from hurt, pain, neglect, and disconnect in rejection — doesn’t mean you give up on life. I want to make life better for them.”
She continued about the book, “There’s not a single thought in the memoir that is untrue, not believable, not credible or creditable. I wanted to put it all out there. I think I have achieved a bit of popularity or fame. And it is possible for everyone to do that — this is the message I wanted to give.”
Commenting on her background, Thakore explained, “I didn’t come from a family of wealth or one which ran a business, had property or any advantages like politics or others. I came from a very middle-class home and I survived. I think I survived very well (smirks) and that’s what I wanted to share with people. I never hesitated. I did it all with a sense of acceptance. I got the energy. I didn’t know that I will be a broadcaster or that my voice will develop the way it has.”
“Today, a lot of people, particularly in their 50s, come to me and say ‘we hated you when we were 10-years-old’. I was reading the news 45-50 years ago. They tell me their parents used to wake them up at 10 pm at night because the English news was broadcast at that hour. And the parents used to force these poor kids to watch the news at that hour. But the fact that they still remember and still have the courage to come up and say that, it feels so good,” she added.
Thakore has been completely upfront and honest in the memoir. She had once said that her life is an open book. On asking her if there was any downside to being open, she responded, “I have not had a downside. I have not been rejected by anybody. I have always been accepted. Okay, there were heartbreaks and tears. It always happens, when the person you like finds somebody else attractive and leaves you and goes. But that’s fine! I didn’t take to drinking or chasing after men or going to drugs. It happened. I cried for a while, shared it with a few friends but that didn’t stop me from doing the work I was meant to do, because I had to earn money, pay bills, and I believe I survived admirably. We took the bus everywhere we went until I could afford a taxi, and then a car. It makes you stronger. I have absolutely no regrets in life. And I think that’s the advice that I’d like to give to all young men and women.
“I wanted to go through what all women should experience. Whether that is pregnancy, child-birth, or bringing up a child — I’ve done everything and I’m proud of my son who gives good messages to society and the way his friends think, it shows the kind of upbringing you give to kids. Some people have the advantage of a family that accepts, some don’t. So, give them a shoulder to lean on and talk to you openly.”
Since Thakore fought her way through and found her space in this male-dominated world of authoritarian figures, the question that pops up is, how difficult the path was. “Look, nothing is difficult if you’re willing to try and if you have the courage to face it. When I started doing films division’s commentaries, most of the important ones were given to the male voices. We confronted the authorities and received equal pay and equal opportunities. Similarly, in other areas of work — when we started writing to the press or reviewing films — the human mind was conditioned to discriminate between men and women. And women were, unfortunately, made to be inferior, but we showed to them that we were equal. We didn’t go on morchas or processions or have breakdowns but we confronted them and we proved it to them by our own energy and our own talent. Now, as you can see, almost everywhere, there’s a woman. All male-dominated professions are now being explored and excelled at by women. And I think a lot of it is owed to women like me (chuckles). Remember, I am now 78 years old. We’ve managed to make furrows for people to follow.”
Spaces are shrinking for women who are outspoken in the given set-up of social media, on asking her if it was easier when social media didn’t exist, she explained, “Well, it is a part of society. Yes, a lot of politics has come in and communalism that has become a part of it, which — I must mention — is destroying the equilibrium. But hopefully, we’ll overcome that also and will be back to normal.”
She continued, “A lot of people still have rigid, old-fashioned limited ideas and that still surprises me. Admittedly, I was brought up with Jesuit form of education but no religion teaches you to be mean. It teaches you honesty and helps form a clear conscience. It doesn’t matter what colour you are, what language you speak, what clothes you wear, what religion you follow, what prayers you say, your conscience has to be clear and you have to accept them. Just be accepting and tolerant. Life gives you time to concentrate on the important things. I do believe education plays a very significant role in one’s life. But, also, read books and authors, and works of liberal-thinking individuals and you will learn. I wished there were more people with a clean mind, an open mind, a better conscience, and who were more accepting.”
On asking her which part of life she enjoyed the most and still cherishes, a slightly nostalgic Thakore replied, “I loved being a newsreader. Throughout my life, I think I wanted acceptance and recognition. I’ve been on stage since I was five years old. That gave me a great deal of confidence and knowledge because we had to study thoroughly for the topics of our debates. I’m happy I read so much. I loved the applause, and of course, I’ve made mistakes.
I can never forget that I was debating at Loreto convent about the Mutiny of 1857. I was very well-prepared and stood there boldly and said, ‘The cows of fat and pigs..’ and obviously I made a fool of myself and people got a good laugh out of it (laughs heartily) and Mother pointed it out in front of the entire school, but I continued. I had the good fortune of debating with the biggest names of the times. Confidence and hard-work will get you everywhere.
As Thakore’s memoir, Regrets, None, is being displayed at the Tata Literature Festival in Mumbai, she held the opinion that lit fests of these sort, although a fairly new phenomena, are fantastic. “How many new writers have emerged, and the fact that we get to know them and read them and that their books are accessible — it’s amazing. Some very good works by lovely writers have come up. And they’ve gotten a voice through these festivals and platforms. I just came back from Gulmarg and I cannot tell you how wonderful it was. I didn’t know a soul, of course, they were much younger than me but, oh, what brilliant young ideas they had!” she shared.
